Allow me to introduce myself!

Hey, welcome to moms at work a podcast for moms who work. 

First off let’s clear the air. All moms work right!

We all have a house to make a home, kids to care for and dinner to cook. We all work.

Ok, now that is out of the way; this is a place for us to grow AS we work. Whether we are working in the house raising these wild babies or if we are hustling outside our home for that paycheck.

But really todays conversation is for us to get to know each other. I want to be your friend and to do that I need you to know who i am! 

So, Hi, I am Jeanette. I am a mom raising 3 teens, well the 3rd one is ALMOST a teen, she thinks she’s in her 20s so ya know..there that!

Having 3 kids, we are teaching them how to drive, pick and pray about careers, colleges, how to control our feelings and bodies. Above all to love and serve Jesus.

 Heres some facts to help you get to know me, trust me and hopefully know that we are friends here!

I am married to Jesse, we have been married for 17 years. I got married when i was 18 and a half. Just 5 months after graduating high school. It has been a long and windy road but we are happily married. Jesse is my best friend and biggest cheerleader. 

Like said before we have three Teenagers! Our youngest is Zoe, she was adopted from Africa, she is also deaf, so as a family we use asl to communicate with her and her community.

I really love friendship and community. I believe that we all have a desire to be seen, heard and loved. That is part of why we find connection on platforms like this. We realize that we aren’t alone, other moms are struggling with working, finding all the hours to do all the things, guilt, shame for loving our jobs and much much more!

I really love Jesus. I have for as long as i can remember and I am thankful for the cross. I pray everyday that He would be more and I would be less. I love the church, as messy as it is, can feel or just be BUT I am a pastors kids, a missionaries grand daughter and my pastors wife is one of my best friends. I love Jesus, I love his people and I love those that give their lives to serve him and others.

I am an enneagram type 9 so I am a chronic peacemaker. I hate conflict and i believe a good nap can solve most of my problems. I am also a recovering people pleaser and while I want people to like me I mostly want to be known for making others feel loved and sometimes that means setting boundaries. That has also shown up in my working and I will share more on that later.

I am an entrepreneur now, but when the boys were little I worked at a coffee hut in Alaska ( oh yah I was born and raised in Alaska!). I wanted to work at a shop just to get out of the house a little more. It was THE most fun job and I really loved people I worked with. I loved the smells and knowing that people felt seen as we made their cups it was always such a joy. Now I am entrepreneur! I never thought I would start my own business. One of my first entrepreneurial endeavor was selling salmon fillets to an Austin-based meat protein company! It was a wild ride! its a fun back story!

As I have stepped into owning my own business, I have struggled with owning the fact that I am a working mom. I started a podcast production company where I take podcast audio and make it sound better, edit and help it get out into the world. I was introduced to this world with my other podcast It’s Time for Coffee and now I absolutely love it. I’ve felt silly, I’ve down played my role in our family finances and until a year ago or so when people asked me what I did I told them I was a stay at home mom.

Which I kinda am…except for the fact that when i am staying at home I am working! 

I don’t know why I did this? I never down played in my business but rather afraid to show how proud I was of my business. I think it was fear, of what others would think or say or question me about “what a podcast producer do” or “how long do you think your business will last” but I am really embarrassed to admit how much I downplayed my role in our home and to my kids. I want them to be proud of what I do. I am excited that they do and my daughter comes and watch me speak at churches.

You may be an entrepreneur like me, you may have a regular 9-5 job, you may have a regular job where you now work from home, but as I talk to my friends I am realizing we all have so much in common. We desire to be known. We want to be acknowledge. We each long for this weird guilt to go away, and we want the best for our families.  We know that by working, providing and caring for so many details we are giving our best for them. 

So here we are…we are going there this together!

Being a working mom is so tough, but here in this space we are gonna make it a little better. We are going to get together and learn biblical truth, tips to make dinner time easier, how to set boundaries, re-asses those boundaries ever season and learn to ask for help.

I am excited for our time together!

I want this to be an interactive podcast, I want to serve you well SO to that I need you to chat with me! I need to know your thoughts on these topics, your wins and your struggles!

Email me at itstimeforcoffeepodcast@gmail.com. Click here if you want to join the email community!

The Proverbs 31 Woman

Let's talk about the Proverbs 31 woman. Pictured are some lessons I have learned from this woman and will be adopting in my own life!

In reality, this is a passage I have skipped over because it has made me feel some feelings.

Feelings, like I am weak, lazy like I will NEVER measure up to this incredible woman, and I am not even sure if I wanted to measure up to her.

When I look at this scripture, the parts that I want to be like the most are this.

I want to be a woman of Noble Character.

I want to stand by my husband and be his safety and trust.

I want to live a giving life.

I want to laugh without fear of the future.

I want to be clothed with strength and dignity because of my noble character.

I want to fear the Lord, and I want to teach my kids to do that.

I want to set an example for them.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised and honored for generations to come. I want my family for generations to come to know the Lord and to sing of His praises forever!

That's what I want.

That's what I want for all of us. I don't want us to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman, who is excellent, don't get me wrong. But she's not all the way real.

We see here that these are disciplines and guidelines that we can adopt and practice, but if we were to hold this as though it were gospel, we would be exhausted and burnt out, and I don't think that's the goal here.

Proverbs 31 is full of principles to pursue, not prescribed practices!

We cannot look at this passage and think we SHOULD be doing more. WE can look here and delegate, ask for help and manage our homes differently. But we will not use this passage to SHOULD on ourselves!

What reminders do you need from this passage?!

Want to hear more about this?! Head over to the MOMS AT WORK PODCAST and listen in as we break this down even further!

Are you good company?!

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

 Are you good company? Are you a good influence?

It’s said that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with.

When you look at your friends are you thankful you get to be like them? Are you glad that your character will be associated with them?

Is there anything you are worried they may take from you?

My friend Holly has the best outlook. It could be thunder storming and rainy outside and she will call it a blessing it because Texas needs the water. She will remind me that the wild animals and the flowers need watering. I want to be more like her because I see the rain and get mad because I would rather be hanging in the sunshine, even though I probably have ZERO plans of actually being outside.

My best friend Julianna has a great way of not getting offended. She is really good at taking a step back and does such a good job at seeing an offensive situation through un-offendable eyes. She longs to live a life that is not easily angered or offended. I want to be more like her because then I wouldn’t be so frustrated all the time, and I would be able to let go of my past offenses.

I hope my friends see my joy and ability to laugh easily and have fun and want more of that but sometimes I am afraid that they see my negative spin cycle and that’s what will wear off on them. 

I so badly long to be a good influence. I want to be good company! I don’t want to be a friend that corrupts good character or good morals.

You may be asking yourself, “Am I good company?!” Really what I am asking you is this, are you an enjoyable person to be around?  When people are around you do they feel, seen, loved, appreciated or do they feel the opposite? Do they feel worried about the safety of their words? Do they feel alone even in your presence?

So how do we know if we are good or bad company? You can start by asking your friends how they feel in your presence. Ask them what habits or quirks they see in you that they either love or worry about.

You can look back at the last few conversations you've had and think back on how they went. Were you more helpful, negative, prayerful, or just melancholy?

 I want to remind you to, to check-in, what kind of company are you? AND what kind of company are you surrounding yourself with. You may be the best of company but you could also have a negative Nancy in the mix that’s corrupting your time and character. We have to be mindful of both of these situations and do the work to fix it.

✨Thrill Of Hope

I collapsed into bed last night with heaving sobs. I am so full of emotion. Joy with having family in town, tired because there are full days and late nights. Carrying grief as we got the news that a family within our church lost their son, a friend lost her uncle last week and then there's the heaviness of hurt friendships and the prayer for reconciliation and the looming conversations that need to happen to make that even possible.

I told Jesse through my tears, that it doesn't feel like christmas. It feels dark and heavy right now. I don't see or feel the thrill of hope. I feel weary.

So now as I think about the world and the people who were anticipating the coming of Christ, it was a dark time. There was 400 years of silence where God revealed nothing new to His people. I can only imagine the dark winter feelings they must've had then too. They could only remember what was told to them, holding on tight to the promise of the coming Messiah. The thrill of hope. I feel weary. That's just an honest truth. It’s a bummer and I really hate admitting it because I feel like I am lacking, I feel like I am failing. I would rather stuff this feeling way down deep, take a good nap then grab a coffee and move on (umm hello type 9 enneagram), but I can’t. I can’t because this morning I was reminded of this verse, Do not grow weary.

Years after our sweet Messiah came to bring us hope, the new and glorious morning, we were reminded by Paul in Galatians 6 how to love others well, how we need to be carrying burdens for each other, how we will reap what we sow and how we should not grow weary in doing good because there is a harvest coming if we do not give up.

Giving up seems easier but I can’t. I can’t buy into this weariness. Because I know my God has more for me than this. More than this world that is full of hurt, sadness, and sin. My god is a God of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control. He is good, and when I give into weariness I am not relying on Him I am relying on myself and in my own power I am not strong enough. I am weak, and weary. I want to be able to carry burdens and I want to see His goodness shine through this season. I won’t give up.

I don’t know what this season looks like for you. I hope it is finding you full and well. But if it’s not, if you are carrying some burdens that are heavy, if you are weary, know you are not alone. Let’s meet together at the manger. Our hope is there. Our sweet Savior is there to remind us that He Is Hope. He Is Truth.

The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees.

Here's something I am going to do…I am going to run over to YouTube and listen to O HOLY NIGHT and I am going to worship. I am going to draw near to the Lord, because He says He will do the same. (James 4:8) and I am going to hold on to Psalm 30:5 Joy is coming.

The nights of crying your eyes out

give way to days of laughter.

PSALM 30:5 MESSAGE VERSION

Marriage Series

Well it looks like I accidentally put together a mini series on marriage and y’all are LOVING IT!

I am always nervous to share about marriage, whether it’s advice or our stories that I think  can maybe help you. I tend to shy away because I am...well afraid. Who am I to share marriage advice? I am just me, Jeanette, I am only 35.

But the more I think about it...we do have 17 years of marriage under our belts. We have battled the highs and lows and we have come out the other side still holding hands and liking each other. I am so thankful for the 3 conversations I have been able to have recently on It’s Time For Coffee that have centered around marriage.

We have talked frankly about sex, we talked about ways we can have a healthy marriage and not just live as roommates, and we then we talked about rhythms that we can all put into place that keep us connected to our spouses for years to come.

I am no expert but I am here to tell you a healthy marriage is worth the fight. A spouse that will fight for you is worth its weight in gold and my prayer is always to be the best partner for Jesse and sometimes that means doing a lot of heart work. I hope that you’ll listen to these episodes and lean into what God has for our marriages:

Ep 190 Gary Thomas // Married Sex | Listen to this episode and then get the book and read it with your spouse! It’s so good. It has sparked SO many good conversations between Jesse and I.

Ep 193 Lindsey Maestas // The Wife Project | Lindsey shares with us the low she got to in her marriage and how the Lord really spoke to her and called her to be a gracious and loving wife. She now shares these lessons and teachings with so many in her course THE WIFE PROJECT. Listen in and then run to check that out!

Ep 194 Chris & Jenni Graebe // Rhythms of Us | If we believe that there is a season for everything under the sun, then we should set up some rhythms to protect and ensure that those seasons run smoothly. In their new book Chris and Jenni share five core rhythms that we can learn and practice for a better marriage.

I hope that as you listen in and that your marriages will be blessed from these awesome friends!!

To listen in CLICK HERE!!

Inviting Others In

Have you ever been invited in? Have you experienced the fruit or the joy that has come with having invited others in?

I recently asked in my stories, “When was a time you were invited in?” And the overwhelming response was this...you have been invited in in some way or another and it made you feel loved. You were included, cared for and it resulted in friendship.

This year the Lord has really challenged me to invite others in more. It’s SUPER easy for me to do this on the internet but as a friend in my local community He was challenging me even more. 

He was pushing me to invite others into my home. I have said this before and it is something I am REALLY working on and I even hate admitting, but I don't love hosting. Jesse does! I don't love the prep, the cleaning, the feeling that my house is unfinished or dirty or in some way lacking, um hello pride much?!)

He was pushing me out of my comfort zone to invite Into the day to day life and into the  routines I have held tightly onto.

I have definitely failed or deemed myself too tired at times but let me tell you, as I sit back and reflect on letting people in I am overwhelmed by the goodness and the fruit the Lord has brought to my life.

Because we  were letting people in, we started a small group. Friends from church who gather weekly around our table. We have already walked through so much together and the friendships that have formed are so sweet and life giving. An invitation was sent & fruit is growing!

By letting people in we host youth group at our house multiple times a month. It’s loud and chaotic but it's been a complete joy to get to know our youth leaders. ONE OF THEM WAS ONLY 3 MONTHS OLD WHEN 9/11 HAPPENED. Getting to know them has shown me 1) my age and 2) we get to lean in and mentor this group as they mentor our kids. It’s really weird to be old but it’s really fun too. Again this has shown me time together & Fruit!

By letting people in I am forced to let go of my desire to host only when things are perfect. I have said before that hosting isn’t my favorite because I find myself WILDLY insecure of, well everything, the floors aren’t finished, that stack of papers that just live on the counter and since I had covid back in January and still can’t smell, I have NO idea if my house smells. I just light the candles and pray. It has humbled me is what i am trying to say. It has allowed me to let go and just be present with those who can come and gather at our home. Freedom in Fruit.

How are you inviting others in? What is holding you back from joining that new class at church or the gym? What makes you say “No” to having friends over to your house?

Here are some ways you can invite others in TODAY:

Start a small group

Have a specific time you meet a friend at the gym or some sort of class.

Start hosting a Taco Tuesday and invite your friends over! (we got this idea from my friend Jess Massey. She invited us to one and it is now something we do 2x a month as well)

Have a friend(s) over for coffee, happy hour, or a meal!

Start a movie series or TV series together!

Let's Fight Loneliness

Do you ever feel lonely? I hate admitting the feeling of loneliness because it feels so shameful or pathetic but I refuse to believe that and speak that over us. Loneliness happens. Life gets busy for all of us so let’s work on flipping the narrative of loneliness!

Here are some thing you can do when you are feeling lonely-

Check in on a friend- If you are feeling lonely maybe someone else is feeling that way too. Instead of waiting for your phone to ring, pick up your phone and check in on a friend. A simple, “Hey, how's it going?!” Or “I am running to grab a coffee. Can I bring you one?” This opens up the door to have conversation and love with your friend!

Meet up for coffee- Set up a time to hang out with a friend. This one seems obvious but actually getting something on the calendar can be tricky. Stick with it. Get something set up! Coffee, happy hour, birthday lunch, dinner or brunch? I don’t care what you do with a group or 1-1. Just set something up! See you people, hug a friend!

Get out of the house- With the work from home model sticking around for so many of us, something I have been forcing myself to do is to get out of the house. To work from a restaurant or coffee shop. I love being home but I know when I am fighting feelings of loneliness I need to get out of my bubble and be around people. If you can’t work from a coffee shop try taking a real lunch break out at least once a week. Spice up your work day!

Put your phone down- I am SUPER guilty of this and it's something I am really working on. When we are in line at the grocery store, coffee shop or target. Don’t scroll. Look around and say Hi to people around you. Compliment the mom in those cute leggings. Smile at the family behind you. Be aware and present. It’s amazing how a friendly face fights loneliness.

Try a new gym, or class- Again let’s spice up your routine and day. If we are feeling lonely it may be because we are feeling stuck or in a rut. So try something new, a new yoga class, that new cycle gym or HITT class?! Try it! You might like it, and I met some of my very best friends at the gym!!

I hope that you will try one of these things this week to fight any feelings of loneliness you might be feeling. If you do let me know which one and how it worked for you!

Q&A about Disney World!

Last week I was able to escape reality and take my thirteen-year-old son Titus for his 13th Birthday trip. We have told each of our kids that when they turn 13 they get to pick a trip, anywhere (within the united states) they want to go with whichever parent they decide. My oldest picked NYC with Jesse and they had the best time exploring one of our favorite cities. Titus had been planning the same trip with Jesse but recently asked if he could swap NYC for Disney and asked if I could take him. It was a quick “Yes!!!” from me and off we went to the Most Magical Place on Earth.

We are no strangers to Disney World I asked on Instagram if yall had any questions I could answer and here we are, a new blog all about Disney!

First off “What is your... favorite park, ride, food, character meeting, resort, and memory?”

My favorite park is Magic Kingdom, I love seeing Cinderella’s castle hearing the music in the hub, and reminding myself that this place is all because of someone’s dream and creativity. My Favorite ride is probably Big Thunder Mountain or Mt Everest over at Animal Kingdom. I am a sucker for a fun roller coaster! My favorite food at the park is really anything Mickey Shaped! Just kidding but really a mickey pretzel always hits the spot. Characters….We love meeting characters at Disney, we have trained our kids to ask the characters questions like…Princess Anna, “What’s your favorite kind of chocolate?” To Rapunzel, we asked her where Pascal was hiding or for her to show us her best Flynn Rider smolder. This makes for memorable interactions and some fun pictures. Meeting the princesses is always high on my list. It looks different now with Covid19 safely Protocols in place but just this last time Titus had a really fun conversation with Rae from Star Wars in Galaxies Edge. Have questions in mind and your cameras ready!

My Favorite memory is walking into Magic Kingdom with our kids and seeing them see the castle for the first time. It was so big and epic and just meant too much to my mama heart that I loved seeing them so happy and excited for this family trip. And then along with the character meet and greets the first time Zoe met Cinderella was so sweet and there was the time when Titus called Donald Duck, Daffy (on purpose) and Donal pushed him out of the restaurant. It was SO funny and so fun! We have so many precious memories made around those parks!

So now let’s really dive into the other questions and I’ll give you my best advice…

Is it worth going right now?

I think yes! As of August 2021, the parks are still not at max capacity, meaning there are not as many people in the parks as there were on, say, March 1st of 2020. Fewer people in the parks equal short lines and not as crowded streets when walking around.

Now coming up is the 50th anniversary of Walt Disney World and they have said that they are going back to max capacity by the end of the year so I do think it’s worth going now while the crowds are down some, YES!! Crowds are definitely going to pick up closer to October through the end of the year! 

Masks- When & Where?

This is something that has changed off and on with Disney. As of right now, masks are only required in doors like stores, restaurants, indoor rides, really anywhere you are in a building. BUT not required outdoors or in outside lines or rides. 

Titus and I always had a mask with us and would throw it on when we walked in anywhere or whenever they asked us to put them on. When I visited WDW last year masks were required outdoors, indoors and all the time except when standing still to eat or drink. They have definitely relaxed this rule and I see them doing it even more so in the future.

Where do we stay?

We typically stay on property at a WDW resort so we can take advantage of their bus and transportation system and any deals they have like the dining package (Which has not yet returned) and fast passes. Our very favorite resort is Disney’s Boardwalk. It's dreamy and so fun. But this last time we stayed at Art of Animation and I loved it. It’s not a far bus ride to the Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom and there is the new Skyliner that connects you to Hollywood Studios and Epcot and we loved the overall fun vibe of the pools, parks, and all the incredible artwork decorating the walls!

What is the best way to get to and from the airport with littles and car seats?!

Ok, so let's start by asking a question first...do you travel with your car seats?! If so I would say Uber or Lyft. The Mickey Magical Express is an option for now but this complimentary service is ending in January 2022. The Mears Connect Transportation service is now available with vans and buses with one time or a round trip fee and from what I can tell on the buses young children can be in parents' laps or seated next to them. I am not 100% sure how this will work! But for the most part, we jump in an uber for $25-40 straight from the airport to our resort.

Any and All tips?! Fast passes, buses, monorail/ Skyliner?!

So real quick the fast pass is being retired and being replaced with the new Genie+ Service. I think we are waiting for more info on when and how this new service will work but we do know it will be a paid service per day at the park and per guest. So many thoughts and questions!!

- My biggest tip for a Disney trip is this...You will be waiting in lines. There's no way around it. Be prepared to wait. We love playing the heads-up game while we stand in line. It’s easy and on phones. The Disney Play app has some fun trivia and games to play while you wait as well. Be prepared to wait, have snacks in your backpack and water.

-Next tip wake up early and rope drop the parks. If the park says it opens at 9 be at the park at 8. Be there early and ride the attraction you cannot wait for! At Disney the early bird gets the most rides done!

-When in doubt get a mickey bar. It’s really amazing how much a little ice cream can change your mood.

-The Skyliner is a great transportation option if you are staying at a resort that is connected to the parks. HOWEVER, I would not use it in the morning on the way into the parks there will be long long lines and you want to get to the park early...I would uber! I would use the Skyliner mid-day or in the evening on the way back. Getting to the parks early in the morning is always a priority for us. A midday break is also great, so you can skyline back and forth but uber in the morning!

-Wear good shoes. We walk no less than 7 miles a day! Good shoes are a MUST!

-Bring a water bottle and fill it up constantly! No need to purchase a water bottle every time you are thirty just refill it!

-We love to talk to Cast Members (Disney World Employees). We challenge our kids to call them by name and ask them about their day, how they like working at DW and where they are from. It creates friendships and sometimes magic comes from it!

I would LOVE to know...

What’s your WDW advice?!

What's your favorite Disney memory?!

OR Let us know what your favorite Disney movie is?!?

Comment below and share!!

Thoughts on belonging....

We all have this desire to belong, fit in, and be accepted for who we truly are. I think it’s why the internet can be so tricky, can we truly and fully belong here on this app? Are we being our real selves are we being a safe place for others to come and land?

Where do you belong? Where do you fit in? & WHO makes you feel as though belong with them?! Is it your extended family? Is it the family you are raising? Is it a friend, a place like a gym, or your church?

If you don’t have a spot or people you feel like you belong to have you thought of becoming a place where others belong? How can you today be a place where others belong?

Belonging is so important, when we feel as though we belong, we can let our walls down, we can be loved and cared for, and have deep and meaningful relationships.

& here’s the thing, You can belong. Just as you are. Just where you are. You can shed that mask and brave face. You can be loved and accepted just for being you. BUT are you loving without abandon?

Be the friend you need!!

Victory doesn’t smell of smoke.

One of my favorite Bible Stories is Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego our pastor at church has been going over it on the past couple of Sundays and it just never ceases to amaze me what we can learn from these guys.

-They stood their ground and wouldn’t conform to the world around them.

-They were humble yet firm when it came to the King’s request and his anger.

-They were faithful.

-They were thrown into the fiery furnace, a fire SO HOT it killed the guards that tossed them in and came out without even smelling like smoke.

I love this story so much I wrote a couple of days focused on these guys in It’s Time For Jesus...

This is an excerpt from my book It’s Time For Jesus, Day 17…

“Even if…” These two words hold so much meaning to me. They knew exactly what they were saying. They knew the power of God. They trusted He could save them, but EVEN IF He didn’t, they knew it was better to die than to bow down. 

Friend, where is your trust? Are you in a hard season? Maybe no one is asking you to bow down to an idol but maybe you are struggling in your marriage, in a relationship with a friend, or in your relationship with food. Possibly you are parenting a difficult child. Are you trusting that God is able to bring you out on the other side? What if God’s rescuing looks different than what you prayed and hoped for? Are you going to trust Him 'even if" it doesn't go as you hope?

& another from Day 18…

We can go through some extremely hard things and have faith and knowledge that Jesus is with us. We need to remember He is with us, He cares for us, and even if it doesn’t look like what we thought, He is still there. He knows exactly what is going on.

We will learn and grow through trials, but we don’t have to smell like fire. We don’t have to come out on the other side with bitterness, harboring guilt or shame or anything else. Victory doesn’t smell like smoke. I am not sure what victory smells like, maybe sweat, but I also think maybe cupcakes and glitter. These men stood up for what they believed. They walked through the scariest thing they could imagine, but that experience didn’t cling to them. They were victorious.

What are you letting cling to you? Do you smell smoke? What have you walked through lately? Our experiences change and shape us, but let's make sure it’s for the best. Victory doesn’t smell of smoke.

How do I make friends as an adult?!

We believe friendship matters, right?!

But like...HOW DO WE MAKE FRIENDS AS ADULTS?! It’s not as easy as it was in elementary school, high school, or in a sorority where you are placed with people around you and told, these are your people now…

Now we are living full lives, running kids around, we have their schedules, our work schedules, nap times, and really where do we fit in making new friends?!Let me give you my best advice…

👋🏽Look up.

You know when you get to the gym and you don't know anyone so you pick up your phone because HEAVEN HELP US, we might feel alone or like we don't know anyone. Put your phone down and lookup. Who have you seen here before? Who did you see dropping their kid off at the child care at the same time (psst...you have kids the same age...something in common, another thing, you chose this same gym class. Another thing to bond over.) If you are new to this space, be brave and speak up, ask someone around you a question, or for help. Don’t be afraid to speak up and say hello!

🥳Send the invitation!

Would you like to have coffee with someone...then ask them out! We don't need to make it weird or overcomplicate it. Just sent the text and asked them for coffee. And actually set it up. Get a time and a place on the calendar and for goodness sake do not flake!

🍪Hostess with the mostest….or just host.

Ask people over. Whether it's a Bible Study, book club, wine night, or pool party invite others into your home. Be a place where others can connect! One of the first ways I got to know new friends was when I was invited to a cookie exchange. It was a great and safe place to meet new friends and connect over a shared love...cookies! By being a place where others connect you will connect as well!

💛Say Yes.

Want to make a new friend, be ready and willing to go when you are invited. If there’s a hang-up with childcare or you can't go ask to share a sitter, speak up, or reschedule. Be willing to communicate.

🙌🏼Pray.

If you are in need of a friend I'd love to challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to show you a new friend.

Steal the pray from this post!

😍and lastly...Be kind. Be you. Be a good friend!

Be The Light PT 1 of Focus On The Family Series

Let’s chat about Family Values! I wanted to share a little more about my family and share some more in-depth stories. I really don’t talk a ton about my life, childhood, and family because I know that my thoughts and feelings are just that. My own. BUT in this season of my work and ministry, I am feeling the call to go deeper with you. And that means, sharing my past!

IT STARTED WITH A LOT OF LOSS

I was raised INSIDE of the church walls, I was raised with some pretty strict rules, some good some super silly (or what I view as silly now as an adult). But really I come from a blended family. My dad Jim passed away when I was just 4 years old. I don’t have a TON of memories of him but the ones I do are very sweet and precious to me. He was a man loved by his sisters and he was fluent in sign language and also grew up in and out of foster care. I don’t know his story which breaks my heart but I know that the path my family (Jesse, me, and the kids) has been heavily influenced by his life. 

My mom is a complete rock star having been a widow in her 30s and mom to 3 LITTLE girls, she carried on and took care of us in ways I don't think I will ever fully understand. Enter Denver, my dad, and my two oldest siblings. Making us a blended family of 5 kids. My Dad, Denver is the pastor although ministry runs deep in my family roots. My Grandpa was a bush pilot missionary to villages in Alaska. Meaning he flew his small plane to the remote villages of Alaska to share Jesus with locals. My grandparents also opened their home to people a ton of people making sure they felt safe and loved. My dad, Jim was actually going back to school when he passed away. I think he was going back for some sort of Bible degree. I really love looking back and seeing how mission work or ministry has been woven through the family tree! And not to leave out my mom or any woman in my family… My mom has served alongside my dad as a pastor’s wife now for over 25 years or so.

So when I look back at my family and how I was raised one of the biggest values I see is ministry. Sharing Jesus with others. Being a light in a dark place.  Matthew 5:14-15 says, 

14 “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

We have to stop hiding our lights under a bush. We have to set our lights up on the lampstand and shine bright for all to see! And yes that’s easier said than done especially when we live in a Digital world where keyboard warriors or bullies are at large and cancel culture doesn’t allow for explanation or overall understanding. 

So how can we be lights within our homes and lights in the darkness? How can we let the value of ministry sink deep into our family roots? How can we teach our kids to light when they go out into the world? How can we prepare our hearts to stay strong and not grow weary?

I wish these answers were easy and voila we are set up but I think it’s slow and steady. Within the Tapley home in the last year, we have been doing the work of being really honest and open with our family. It’s not easy especially having to have some harder conversations in sign language but we don’t want to hide what’s happening in the outside world. BUT we also make sure our kids know that our 4 walls are safe. We are fully loved here. They are able to ask questions about race, politics, sex. We try to tie everything back to the Bible. And let me tell you that not easy if we as parents are not IN the bible and are not active members of a church body. How can we know what God’s word says if we are not actively reading it? 

OUR ONLY HOPE IS IN THE BIBLE

Last year Titus ( my middle child) was having a rough transition into middle school. He kept saying over and over, “There’s just so many people. It’s so crowded. I get overwhelmed and lost.” And in that, he was feeling overwhelmed in his classes. So we sat down and asked him what bible verse he could look to 1) calm his nerves 2) make him feel strong and 3) help him focus. He told me that his favorite verse is Joshua 1:9.

Have I not commanded you. Be strong and Courageous. Do not be terrified for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go.

He needed this reminded last year. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. He needed to be reminded that the Lord was with him. So what we did is this…we took a sticky note wrote the verse on it and slid it into the back of his id. He has to where his id on a lanyard all day every day at school. We literally strapped the verse at his heart so when he got anxious and overwhelmed he could grab it and hold onto it.

Friend this is our only hope. Gods word. THIS is how we are light in a dark place. This is how we shine bright in our homes, we cover our people with truth and the Bible. It can be as easy as watching veggie tales and singing Bible verses to as awkward as pausing a tv show when a character comes out of the closet to discuss our thoughts feelings and what the Bible says and how we are called to love. We have to put action to our lessons and show our kids, and families what love looks like. Right now it might be SUPER uncomfortable because it looks like we are all more divided than ever. So I want to encourage you to be a peacemaker. Live at peace as best you can. Right now being the light might look like listening more, it might be praying more. It might be being still OR taking loud action. I won’t tell you what being the light SHOULD look like for you but I will tell you for me. I am listening. I am loving my people close to me. I am asking more questions, digging deeper, and talking to my kids about what they see, how they feel, and what they think needs to change in our world. 

LEGACY

As I sit here thinking about how I was raised and what I do now I am so thankful for the generations before me that modeled ministry work in big and small ways. I don’t think my grandpa really understands what I do here on the internet. And How I can be doing ministry work on Instagram or meeting you for coffee but I do hope that he sees my work as light in a dark place. I hope that he sees fruit from his time in the mission field. I hope that both my dads see what I do and know that I am following their lead. I hope that my mom and grandma look at me and know because they held their homes together in such beautiful ways I have learned to do the same. Their lights have shown so brightly that I have been able to take from them and shine as well.

So I wanted to start this series off with this…what values do you see from your roots? What is something your family is has passed down?

My family passed down the work and love for ministry. I am here doing this work because of their legacy and I can hope and pray that my 3 kids and their kids will continue on whatever their ministry calling maybe!

You don’t have to fly planes to the middle of the frozen tundra, you don’t have to preach on a stage weekly, you don’t have to start a podcast or share your life with the world you just have to shine for Jesus. Be the light. Show up right where you are today and be the light! Don’t hide your light under a bush, we need to shine together!