Tomorrow will be better: Lessons from Motherhood| Cassie Stroman
“Tomorrow will be better,” I whisper to myself when I finally crawl into bed, ready to shut off my brain for a few precious hours of sleep. Today, I got irritated with the preteen attitude, the mess, the never-ending demanding of my attention from the minute I picked up from school. The stress of work and motherhood wore me down and made me into a person I never want to be. Today, I was the mom who told her child, “Fend for yourself” instead of creating connection. The mom who tucked her child into bed and left the room, instead of sitting on the floor and providing the opportunity to share hopes and dreams. The mom who told her preteen she was acting like a toddler instead of seeing the need behind the behavior.
As I peeked my head into my child’s room for one last check before going to sleep, I felt overwhelmed with guilt and tears spring to my eyes. I’ve felt this guilt too many times to count in the past weeks, the sting of realizing that instead of helping my child move towards healing, I may have contributed to further hurt. There have been so many days of saying “tomorrow will be better”, then doing the same thing the next day. I find myself praying for help to be a good parent every hour, every minute, every second. Yet here I am, day after day, trying to make tomorrow better because today just didn’t cut it.
Parenting is one of the most sanctifying experiences of my life. All of my faults and inadequacies are out in the open: my pride, my selfishness, my tendency to become easily irritated when I am inconvenienced. In light of these and many other sins, I am reminded of my desperate need for a Savior. I’ve always needed Jesus and have been striving to be more like Him. For a good amount of time. But parenthood has exposed my weaknesses so much that I find myself running to the promises of the cross more than ever. I cry out, “Give me patience!” as I endure preteen attitudes and slammed doors. I plead, “Give me Your peace!” as I worry about her future. And over and over, I am reminded that I can hand my burdens to Christ- His yoke is easy, and He will help me when I can’t carry this weight on my own.
As I deal with the ups and downs of raising a child, I can see how God’s responses to His people set an amazing, yet unattainable by our own strength, example for parents. When I find myself irritated as I ask my daughter to pick up the same dirty clothes for the tenth day in a row, I’m reminded of God commanding the people of Israel to now bow down to idols time and time again. I’m reminded of the times I tur back to the same sin over and over, despite the Lord’s direction to make a different choice. When I feel the overwhelming love in my heart for this child, I’m blown away by the fact that there’s a God who loves me even more fiercely. I feel in my soul that there’s nothing my daughter can do to make me stop loving her. If I have that much love for a person, how much more love does God have for me? I know I can never love my child as much as God does. But I know that He is using this time in my life to make me more like Him. As my shortcomings are revealed, I’m given the opportunity to respond in a better way each time. Every whispered “tomorrow will be better” isn’t a wish, but a promise. God is doing a good work in me, and He will continue it to completion. Being a mother provides endless opportunities to die to my selfish desires and become more Christ-like. With every new day, I have the choice to give in to my sinful desires and habits or to lean on God’s strength. “Tomorrow will be better” isn’t just a promise to my daughter; it’s a promise to myself that God will work in me to be the parent my child needs.
If you’re a parent feeling the endless mom guilt or seeing the constant reminders of your shortcomings, know this: you are not alone. Remember that you are growing and changing just like your child is, and that God chose you to be your child’s parents. He will use parenting to make you more like Him, but also as a reminder of His great love for you. Let the whisper of “tomorrow will be better” carry you forward through the difficult days and lean on His promises. I’m not out of the tough seasons yet, but I’m pretty sure the outcome is worth the sanctification “growing pains” I’m experiencing along the way.
Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Cassie great, to hear more encouraging words from Cassies foster journey follow her here!!
