Summer Reading List!

Summer is here, and that brings in my favorite reading season!

☀️📚🌻

I love reading by the pool and staying up late at night, and as the schedules fade away, it allows me to sit and read! It's my favorite, and I tend to DEVOUR books this season! 

So here is my TBR (to-be-read) pile of books for this summer!
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Yours truly - Abby Jimenez

Happy place - Emily Henry

Adelaide - Genevieve Wheeler

The fourth wing - Rebecca Yarros 

Meet me at the Lake - Carley Fortune

You shouldn’t have come here - Jeneva Rose

Pineapple Street - Jenny Jackson

Stone Cold Fox - Rachel Koller Croft

American Royals Reign (book 4) - Katherine McGee

I’ll probably add a couple of Lauren Christina and Jennifer Weiner books!

EEEKKKK! What a list I am so excited for this summer!

Please tell me, what am I missing?! What is on your list, and are there any of these you want to read as well?!

I have linked these all on my Amazon storefront to make it easy for you! 

Let's talk about what my team has been loving!!

Y'all, it's April!!! I am so excited for the warm weather to warm up. Texas has been doing some FUNKYY things.

I love catching up with you, talking about life, and encouraging you in everything, and today we will talk about what my team has recently loved!

Speaking of "my" team, I wanted to take a minute to introduce you to my sweet assistant Jenna! Jenna has been working with me for about a year and a half now, and she is truly the best! I am so thankful to not be doing everything we do alone! She is a true encourager, accountability partner, and just the best helper! We got together earlier this week and knocked out some stuff for this quarter, and I am SO EXCITED!! Stay tuned! We cannot wait to share what we have coming up with you!

& now for the things we are loving...

☕️Let's start with what is in our cups!

I am currently sipping on a delicious vanilla & raspberry Italian soda (Italian soda is sparkling water and syrup!) I wanted an iced coffee but I am trying to watch my caffeine intake!

Jenna has been loving iced vanilla matcha with almond milk. It's so yummy!

📺What we are watching; if I tell you that this current season of Love is Blind has taken up residency in my brain, would you judge me?? Yes? Dang...it has! It's trash, I know, but if Jackie doesnt give that ring back....💀

🎧What we are listening to; Basically, the only thing I am pressing playing on these days is every Taylors Swift album. Our time at the ERAS TOUR was terrific, and I am trying to relive it as much as possible! Now if it's not Taylor, I have been LOVING Ellie Holcomb's new album Caynon and the song "I Will Carry You" is my favorite!

🧼How we are taking some time for self-care; One of my habits in February was getting into a better skincare routine. I have a few products that I have LoVeD! Tula Eye Renewal Serum is crazy good. It has some magical power where the metal is always cold and helps depuff my eyes. & I am newer to the self-tanning game and have loved San Tropez self-tanning foam. Doing these little things have helped me take care of ME, and then I am in a healthier headspace to help my family and others who need me!

📚Honorable mentions for the books I have read recently, It Starts With Us, Other Birds, Things We Hide From the Light. I am currently reading Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone and listening to Remarkably Bright Creatures. And If you don't know already, I am ALWAYS looking for book recommendations, so please respond if you need a recommendation OR you have a book you think I have to read!!

☀️And lastly, we love that spring is breaking here in Texas! Jenna and I love working outside, laying out, and enjoying our incredible city! But we are also hard at work on our goals! I wanted to check in with you!

At the end of the year, we always reflect on the previous year and plan our goals for the coming year.

✨We are now in the second quarter of the year, and how are you doing as you work toward your goals? Are you needing to pivot? A reminder to pick that goal back up? Do you need a pep talk?! Or are you feeling stuck? Let's reflect on the goals we set and keep moving forward! One of the things I hate is when I honestly forget I made a goal and at the end of the year, see what I had planned for the year and wish I would've or couldve accomplish it!

SO here we are, reflecting and planning for this spring so we can make our goals a reality!

4 STEPS ON HOW TO COMBAT DECISION FATIGUE

Hey there! Do you feel like you make 100 tiny decisions every single day? And then the many big ones? 

What is decision fatigue

noun

1. difficulty in making a good decision experienced as a result of the number of decisions one needs to take.

Decision fatigue is “the idea that after making many decisions, your ability to make more and more decisions over the course of a day becomes worse,” said Dr. MacLean, a psychiatrist. “The more decisions you have to make, the more fatigue you develop and the more difficult it can become.”

I read this really insightful article from the American Medical Association and Psychiatrist Dr. MacLean says “Every day, just in our personal lives, we are making a ton of decisions. And a lot of these decisions you are not consciously making,” she said. For example, “you open the refrigerator door, and sometimes the only thing that’s in there is bagels and that’s a pretty easy decision.

“But if there’s a lot of different things in terms of ... what do I eat, what do I wear, what do I do with my day especially on a day off, that can create stress,” Dr. MacLean added, noting that “by the time the average person goes to bed, they’ve made over 35,000 decisions and all of those decisions take time and energy, and certainly can deplete us.”

We are making so many decisions. How do we handle that?!

We are tired, let’s decide to rest! And really we need a better

Streamline your choices, Lazy Genius Kendra Achachi taught me to decide once. One thing in one thing out helps with shopping and clutter. Make a list for the grocery store, that helps when you are looking for things OR order your groceries online, then you do not know what you are “missing out on” 

For a time if you need a simplified menu DO THAT. Mondays are macaroni and cheese Tuesdays are tacos Wednesdays are hamburgers Thursdays are Lasagna and Fridays are a snack board.

Streamlining is not lazy, systems like this work for a reason. They simplify and help us make fewer choices. We decided once. 

Decide again what matters. I think it’s smart to do this on a grand scale for both business/work and family. What matters, is what are you saying yes to and what are you saying now too. Decide what matters and then make it happen.

I find that having a quick no-response plan is really helpful since I hate saying no and feel like I am letting people down. But an easy, “Oh thank you for the invite but I am not able to say yes right now because I am really stretched in this area.” Or “Thank you but I cannot go because my schedule is too full.”

Polite and to the point. Make your yeses matter. And your nos kind. I think it was Jen Hatmaker many moons ago who said, A yes to something is a no to something else. And Often times a yes to something is a no to my family.

I think I have said it here before but our two teen boys now have jobs and they are working a lot! Something that matters to us is time together. Jesse and I decided this year that if they are both home and off work we want to be with them and spend time together as a family. Does this always line up, no jesses work schedule is shift work so he is often working nights and weekends but that’s all the more reason for us to make it work. We tend to make the “family night” plans and mark them on the family calendar. We decide at the beginning of the week so we all know what to expect therefore no decisions have to be made…except for the..What will we watch question!

So decide and then plan for it.

What can you delegate? Chores? Meals? One of my favorite things to do when I am feeling stressed out is a brain dump. I take a blank sheet of paper and just write down everything that I am worried about, tasks, due dates, ideas, appointments all of it, and then I take 4 sticky notes. I write fast 3 on one, Top 3 on the next one Next 3 on the 3rd, and Delegate on the 4th I then look at the list and fill up the sticky notes that way. There are more than 9+ spots but at least this gets it off the top of my head and I can see what is easily moved off my list and moved for a family member or someone on my team.

The rule of 3 is KEY when it comes to decision fatigue because the longer the list, the more stress piles up!

Once you delegate, you have to be hands-off. No helicoptering. If you need to teach, teach the task and then trust them to take over.

How can you find rest?

Do you know that there are 7 different types of rest?!

Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative

I am going to link a beautiful blog that has a quick overview of these types of rest and DR SAUNDRAS TED TALK

in the description. Don’t let the different types of rest mess you up. Read through and see if you find yourself craving one of these more than the others. As I read through this I find myself seeking sensory rest often. I love driving to the gym in total quiet or silence. It makes sense since so much of my work and tasks are content-heavy, either writing and listening or watching and making videos.

Just think about it. What do you need? Finding rest is holy. Seeking rest is laying your burdens down at the feet of Jesus and trusting him. 

Last week we talked about the sabbath and what that looks like. Decide once what the sabbath will look like for you! 

Let’s combat decision fatigue by streamlining our choices, in our closets, how we shop, and what we eat. Reminding ourselves and our families what matter. And doing those things. Nothing less nothing more. (this can be evaluated weekly and monthly…you decide!) Delegate and hand over the helicopter controls and then rest!!

I would really love to hear from you! What are you doing this week to combat decision fatigue? 

I just wanted to take a second and thank you for the amazing reviews and DMS I’ve received lately! Here is a review from the apple podcast by Kriss1012345N READ FROM POST

And a DM I got form KRISTA @moneymindfulmoms

This podcast would be NOTHING without you guys and i am so thankful for each and every one of you and the kind words you share about the podcast!
SO in February! Each week i will be sharing a new review and sending the friend a Starbucks coffee!! So be sure scroll down on the apple podcast app or Spotify app and leave a review for moms at work and maybe yours will be picked, read on air and you’ll get a coffee from me!! YAY!! Thanks guys!

Re-Learn What Sabbath & Rest Means

I am working on a new book project that I can’t tell you TOO much about but I wanted to share a little with my friends…

I like so many of us grew up in the church. I am a pastor’s kid and my grandpa was a missionary. So I feel like “the church” runs through my veins. I love the church and love the church I attend. 

But I was recently thinking about the lessons I learned in church and the lessons I am having to re-learn and teach differently to my kids. Like purity culture. I want to teach my kids to stay pure for marriage but how we talk about it is so different. Even 18 years into marriage there are a few things from purity culture that have crept up and we have had to settle it’s hard to unlearn what was once ingrained. So then I was thinking about the lessons I didn’t learn. 

I didn’t learn how to love my body. I learned to hide it. I didn’t learn how to dream or set goals, I learned that God’s plan was enough…but what is God’s plan and how do I find it?! And I didn’t learn how to rest.

The Bible talks a TON about rest and calls us to find rest. But how?! This was a lesson missing in my churched upbringing.

So let’s talk about rest today.

Let’s take a deep breath together and figure out how we can find rest as busy, working moms

Genesis 2:2-3

And on the seventh day, God finished His work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all His work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it God rested from all His work that he had done in creation.

Exodus 20:8-11

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Leviticus 25:4

But in the seventh year, there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the Lord. You shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard.

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

John 16:33

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Ok, all of these verses remind us to work for 6 days rest for 1.

To cast our cares on the lord because he cares. And he knows our struggle yet we still rest in him because he won!

I think about how strange sleeping is sometimes. I think we talked about this with my friend Michelle Meyers when we talked about Ecclesiastes you can listen to that episode I’ll link it in the description. But sleeping is so strange, right? We get cozy, we close our eyes and we trust that in 6-8 hours we wake up. Rested and renewed.

Now, what do you do to prepare yourself for sleep?

I wash my face, brush my teeth, and turn on my heating pad. But even before I go to my room, I prepare my house. I locked up the dogs, closed and lock the doors, turn off all the lights, and prepare my house for sleep. I prepare my body for sleep.

When we look at that not working and actually resting looks like for one day. It can be really overwhelming.

Some people have really strict no work at all. No laundry, dishes, chores nothing. No screens, just rest.

I am not lying when I think about that I get a little antsy. And just assume that Sabbath is not for me. But that’s not true. We can find a way to make sabbath our own.

First, we have to prepare for it. Start by asking yourself, what does rest look like for you and your family?

Can that happen on a Saturday or a Sunday? Or do you need it to be on a different day of the week?!

For me and my family, it would probably be best on a Saturday. BUT we are now in a season where the kids work a lot on the weekends so I have to ask myself, what is more, important modeling this for them or legalism and forcing them to rest?

I think modeling and disciplining are where I will land.

Ok, set the day. We are going to Sabbath! Hooray! Set the time. In Jewish culture, it’s Friday evening sunset to Saturday sunset. Often times the timing is marked by the lighting of a candle and a liturgy. (a prayer) and closed by blowing out the candle and a prayer.

But what happens Friday before sunset?! Preparation.

If you know you are going to be out of town and not at work what do you do? You prepare.

What if we took time to prepare for rest?! Sent that last email. Closed some open loops, My friend Jess Massey talks about open loops being those tasks that we just need to get done. Like calling the dentist, picking up the prescription, those looming tasks. So take Friday and close those loops. Grab or make dinner. Prepare for rest.

And then what?!

Rest.

Know that God truly cares for you, your family, and all that you care about. He knows and cares and he can carry them for you.

You may not be able to fix it but you can lay it down and rest in the fact that Saturday evening it will still be there.

What if we rested like we were called to do?

What if we took this lesson that wasn’t taught a lot to us and taught it to our kids?

Do you think they would have a better or stronger trust in God and his word?

We close our eyes at night and trust that we will wake up. What if we walked away from tasks, striving and doing for 24hrs and trusted that we will be able to come back to it

How would that build your faith?!

So a few thoughts as we wrap up…

What is keeping you from Sabbath?

How can you take baby steps? It doesn’t have to be ALL or nothing! It can be a slow and steady climb to finding weekly rest.

What does incorporating your family look like?

What would preparation look like?

How would laying down and resting weekly change your faith and family?
Why not try it?!

I would love to hear

5 ways to prioritize your marriage

Let’s talk 5 ways to make sure you and your spouse are connecting and staying healthy!

Working whether it’s full-time or part-time inside the home outside the home, momming, and managing a house are all a lot of work. Like 2 or three full-time jobs! And when we take a step back to evaluate everything we do we are stretched thin!

But we want to be active and present wives. And that can be hard when life is already so full. I can tell you very honestly that I am coming out of a season of not doing this well. 

I love my husband dearly he is the best and I am not sure I could function without him. We are probably the healthiest codependent people I know…no not really but you get me right!

I am not great at adding him to my list not that I think marriage is a to-do but 

Here are ways I am working at making my marriage and Jesse and higher priority to ensure our marriage stays strong and healthy

• Date nights- don’t have to spend money let’s talk cheap or free

Games and a glass of wine our favorite is the monopoly deal

Movie in rent one or watch a new Netflix movie

Cook a meal together after the kids go down there are some really cool meal prep boxes for couples i think this would be super fun

• Have sex- hang on! Stick with me. If we are not connected intimately we will struggle for connection in every other way.  want a better resource for this…my friends Gary Thomas and Deb Fileta have a great book called Married Sex and I love recommending it to couples!

• Have the hard convos. The ones about needs, expectations, roles around the house, and the things that matter to you. You need to be on the same page. Shoot we need to be reading the same book!! I know that when we are not things are wonky, and lonely and everyone is frustrated. Have conversations!

• Find something to do together. Where it can be mostly just the 2 of you. Walk the dogs, watch a show, go to the gym, grocery shop?! Something that is just or mostly just the 2 of you. It’ll give you something to talk about, look forward to, and bond over. When we do this it creates a connection. When we have a lack of connection we have a lack of intimacy. Jesse and I got married at 18 and 20 and our goal was to grow up together. That meant we had a lot of the same hobbies. We really intended to not take on a lot of solo sports or hobbies because the others can’t be a part of it and there is a lack of connection or the opportunity to connect over a new thing missing. When I got super into quilting that wasn’t something Jesse loved but when I did that he would tinker with his snowmachine. We were intentional that the time apart wasn’t just one-sided. I got really into paintball in one season because I wanted to bond with him over something he loved. When I started podcasting he took up learning the ins and out with me so that we could grow what has come to be a really fruitful business. We got into the gym together and as he

• This last one is something I have had to work really hard in! And that’s so crazy because Jesse is literally the nicest! Speak kindly about your spouse to others. It’s like the law of what you look for you see? Ya know. But if you are in the habit of bad-mouthing or speaking unkind words about your partner you are only going to see bad things. There was this one time years ago at our gym when I made a joke about Jesse that wasn’t kind. It was ugly and rude and I knew I had to apologize to those who heard me.

So I know this is a break from our regular conversation. But as moms who are working, and managing a home I want us to make sure that we are honoring a relationship that matters to us, to God, and to our families. And if you are a single mom take these 5 things and do them with your kids! Find a hobby to do together, watch a show, and take an intentional night each week where you “date” or treat them to a special chick-fi-la dinner or blizzard dessert.

When we are intentional with the relationship that are the closest to us I believe we will be intentional with ourselves.

I am thankful to you, for our time together and I cannot wait to hang out next week!

New Year...New Goals

This year I wanted to do small goals that I could build on each month. I didn't want to feel like I had to change everything all at once, so I stole an idea from a friend of mine! Thanks @emilalah ;)

So I wanted to take this year and really sit with what was a good habit, something that would feed into my greater goals and just WHO I want to be! Not in the "best self" sort of way but the way that knows I am caring for ME in the best way I can. And on the flip side, I wanted to evaluate the things I was doing, both intentionally and unintentionally, to be mindful and break some habits.

So for all of 2023, I will take one good habit in and one bad habit out each month!

For example, in January, my good habit goal is to walk 100 miles on my walking pad. Now I can walk and work, and I am feeling so productive. This is also helping me with some body issues I am dealing with and breaking some bad snacking habits! Because if I am at my desk walking, it's more challenging to hide out and snack in the pantry!

The bad habit I am kicking this year off with is dry January. Like most of us, the holidays are full of fun and indulgence. Participating in a dry (no-alcohol) month is really helping me evaluate my relationship with alcohol.

I am not expecting either of these things to dramatically change my life, but I am hopeful of creating better habits both during my workday and in the evening, as reaching for a glass of wine won't be an option.

I realize that this is not earth-shattering and that setting my year up this way isn't new. I mentioned I stole this friend who did this last year! But as I have talked about this with my friends, and as they have joined me, it's interesting to see what their good and bad habits are. One friend is not swearing, and another is working on her negative self-talk. I love that as we take this challenge, it will look different every month.

Now let me give you a quick overview of what the next couple of months looks like for me!

Jan:

Good- walk 100 miles

Bad- Dry Jan

Feb:

Good-create and stick to an am & pm skincare routine

Bad- Fast food

March:

Good-Crossfit 5 days a week

Bad-No spending $$

That is as far as I have gotten because I intend to take time and see what habits I am seeing come from these months and build from there.

Want to join me?!

Let me know by emailing me or send me a dm on instagram!

Best Books Of 2022

I have read 34 books this year!

I read Twelve of these books with my book club (It's Time to read book club), and the others were a mix of audible and my kindle.

Let's talk favorite books of 2022! I asked the group for their favorite books of 2022, and they showed up for us!

Here's a list of some of their favorite books this year:

November 9th- Colleen Hoover *

It Ends With Us- Colleen Hoover *

Every Summer After- Carley Fortune *

Things We Never Got Over- Lucy Score *

The Maid- Nita Prose *

Carrie Soto is Back- Taylor Jenkins Reid *

I'll Be You- Janelle Brown

Meet Me In Paradise-Libby Hubscher *

The Push- Ashley Audrain

A Visit From the Goon Squad-

The Last Thing He Told Me- Laura Dave *

Lulu's cafe- T.I Lowe *

Under the Magnolias T.I Lowe *

I have not read ALL of these same books, but the ones I did read from this list are fantastic! * indicates the ones I have read!

Here is a list of what we read as a group:

JAN- The Love That Split The World- Emily Henry

FEB- The Maid- Nita Prose

MARCH- Reminders of Him- Colleen Hoover

APRIL-The People We Keep- Allison Larkin

MAY- Book Lovers- Emily Henry

JUNE-American Royals III: RIVALS (book 3)-Katharine McGee

JULY-Every Summer After- Carley Fortune

AUG-The Wild One- Colleen McKeegan

SEPT-Things We Never Got Over- Lucy Score

OCT- The Kiss Curse- Erin Sterling

NOV- The Bodyguard- Katherine Center

DEC- The Christmas Bookshop- Jenny Colgan

Now for my top 5...

-every summer after

-A court of thorns and roses (I'm counting these three books as 1)

-Things we never got over

-Anything I read by Colleen Hover (3 books- Verity, Reminders of Him & November 9th) Again, counting these three as 1...my blog, my rules!

-The Bodyguard

Honorable Mentions:

The Measure - a really neat concept for a book. I loved how they showed the divisiveness of the ones who did and the ones who didn't. Felt like an accurate depiction of the vaccine debates without being focused on a pandemic.

Local Woman Missing & When She Returned-

I have a habit of reading very light, fluffy, and happy beach reads all summer, so in the fall to pallet cleanse, I tend to go dark. At least, that's what I did this year. I read these two books back to back, and whew...they are good!

Not for me:

Before we jump into this, I want us to normalize not finishing books. If it is not your style, if it's not keeping your attention or if you don't like it, stop reading it! Because here's what happens. You force yourself to read; you don't enjoy it, you never finish it and you feel like you can't start a new book because you haven't finished the last one and it's a weird shame cycle that makes you stop reading! No more of that!

If you don't like a book, you don't have to finish it! But let's not go bash or leave a negative review. We can share our feelings without hurting other people's feelings. (Hi, I'm jeanette, and I am afraid to hurt people's feelings!)

Ok, now with that pep talk out of the way, here are a couple of books that weren't for me or that I left unfinished!

-Book Shop Around The Corner- I couldn't keep the people straight, and the story didn't click with me. I didn't finish it. Many gals in the book club loved this book and devoured the whole series!

-I read and liked the first three books of the Court of Thorns and Roses, but the fourth book was not for me. I didn't care for Nesta like I did her sister and Rhys.

-I listened to 5 of the 9 Bridgerton Books and had to stop. They are all just the same, and just so you know, they are MUCH steamier on Netflix than in the book, which I was thankful for!

Well, there you have it! Books I loved, books I read and books I set down!

I would LOVE to know what was your favorite book this year.

Do you set reading goals? Did you meet said goal?

Do you want to join our book club?!

Four Things I Need During The Holidays

The holiday season can be a butt kicker. I mean Halloween just wrapped up, how many of us had to run to Walmart ON Halloween just to see that all the candy was being moved and replaced with Christmas candy>! Just me? Be honest>! Thank goodness for Walgreens! And we are now sprinting, whether we want to or not towards Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love the holiday season as a mom. I love the twinkle in my kid's eyes I love the holly jolly spirit that surrounds us and I love the snacks, treats, and drinks that come around this time of year! Its FUN! And I love fun!

But enter the working side of my mom's brain. The working side looks like this, setting deadlines for clients so we aren’t working over Thanksgiving and Christmas. Questioning how many days should…oopps I mean can or need to take off? What will the kids be up to? Working weekends to make sure all the tasks are done AND THEN we need to wrap up the year, check the budget, manage any backend tasks that need to be taken care of, cancel any subscriptions that need canceling and then dream and plan for the next year.

When I think of all this I find the desire to do it all THIS WEEK. That's the time. But one thing I have learned is I have time. In the past, I have front-loaded my Mondays with 1 million tasks. But a few weeks ago I realized. I am the boss. I can spread it out!

I know that there are tasks that need to be done every day and that's fine. But for the most part, I set my deadlines and I can move them around. So I have been and let me tell you. FREEDOM has been found!

This is basically your reminder that you are in charge! And if you aren’t FULLY in charge you are still able to make choices that support your daily workload!

So as this holiday season ramps up, I feel like we have been saying this since September! Here are 4 things I cannot live without!

A plan! I need a solid plan. What's going on, where are we going? When are we staying in? What am I making or baking? When can I work out?

Have you seen that meme that's like? I could never be a ride-or-die chick. I have questions, where are we going? Why do I have to die? Will there be snacks? Can we stop if I need to pee?

That fully sums up the need for a plan! Also…where are we parking because that can be an issue!

A Budget! Yall! We have to stop drilling into the Christmas budget. This is coming from SO much experience. Last year we had a loose budget and we blew threw it! It was so irresponsible and we were left to pay it off well into the year. I don't talk a lot about money, debt, and such but It's something I would love to get into. Not today but soon! This year we have a really specific budget. We sold a couple of things and we are using that cash to fun Christmas. It helps that my kids are older and told us what they want specifically and for some items, we just laughed like NO Zoe you are definitely NOT getting a gaming computer in your room! No Titus I will not be buying you ANOTHER PAIR OF AIRPODS! They are getting gifts, we are sticking with the budget and the end!

Scheduled rest. This goes along with the first point but if I know we are going to be busy then I need to schedule rest in. If we don't, I will turn into a grumpy toddler who hasn't taken a nap and is over-tired, moody and a fit is looming. Not fun for anyone to be around. Don't be afraid to schedule rest. A nap can go on the calendar just as easily as a meeting. And if you are anything like me then you might want to schedule a nap or downtime as often as you schedule parties! You know. One for one! Really take some time to think about what rest looks like for you. Is it a walk, with a podcast on? Some veg time with a good show? A nap? A target run. Schedule it. Take care of yourself.

A grateful heart and a way to give back. This season is easy for us to get overwhelmed with the have-to-dos, traditions, traveling, buying, dreaming, and closing up the year. But don’t forget to find ways to be thankful and give back. One of my favorites is the Giving Manger. It's a book and a little manger that sits on the table and as you and your family do kind things for one another and your community you add straw to the manger I'll link an episode about it in the show notes! But it's a visual reminder to give back. To remember what matters and to love others this season.

As the year wraps up it's easy to lose focus. Let's not grow weary in doing good but instead, love people well around us. In our homes and communities!

The last thing I cannot live without this season is YOU! I am so thankful for you and the community we have built this year! I would love to know. What can you NOT LIVE WITHOUT during the holidays!?

Hit reply in the description below and let me know!

I'll be back here next week with one of my favorite ways to be thankful and a prayer of thanks!

Life Update ( Gods Goodness)

When I get overwhelmed, I hide. I know I can't be the only one who feels like that or operates this way, which is a sign of being an enneagram type 9, and just me being me and/or mild depression.

So I wanted to pop into your inbox to be real honest with you.

This year has been FULL of trials and just straight-up brutal.

We have been walking alongside my in-laws through a cancer diagnosis, and we have a house full of teens with hormones raging! On top of that, there has been a lot of loss and redirection in my job/ career.

I told my counselor the other day it feels like I am living with an active volcano nearby. We know it's going to blow. But we don't know when, and we can't prepare for the damage because we don't know the magnitude of the eruption. We just know it's rumbling and could erupt at any time.

So with these feelings and anxieties, I have just been hiding out. Building a ministry online is hard when your life feels hard. I long to show up and be a shining light for those around but how can I do that when my light feels so dim? I fight the feeling of being a fraud or liar and then get paralyzed by said fears.

I needed to take some time and rest. I had to pull back and evaluate what was going on with God and me, and then I had to surrender. I had to surrender my plans, my timeline, my ideals, and anythign else that started with MY.

In that surrender, God pressed in and reminded me that my words matter.

This fall has been tough. And I told myself that over and over again. "this month sucks; just chalk it up to September; this child is set out to ruin my life, and this season is hard." Words like this and worse just ran out of my mouth and in my brain on a loop.

As they did, my posture changed. I struggled to find joy and allowed myself to feel the suck in this season. The problem was I was also isolated. I was hiding from my friends and wasn't showing up online. I was hiding, believing the words I was saying, and thinking.

I started counseling, and it immediately began shedding light on my words and inner struggles. Because here's the deal, the thoughts didn't stop there. They grew; if this season was hard, maybe I wasn't strong enough to deal with it. If this kid was out to ruin me, perhaps I am not the parent for them; if they are struggling, it must be my fault. And while I am spiraling, let's stress eat and then attack our body because I can't even care for myself properly.

That's when God sweetly pulled me close and said, "where are these words coming from?! They are not from me. Let's get to the root of it." He reminded me that my words carry power. Whether they are said out loud or in my brain, they are powerful.

Take every THOUGHT captive. 2 Corinthians 5:10

This is where I started. I had to get to the root of where these thoughts were coming from, why they were believable and how to usher them out.

For example, eating my feelings is a major struggle because it's not like I am ever feeling sad and grabbing a salad. No, I head for taco bell, my sad girl guilty pleasure. On the days I would have the urge to eat my feelings, I would ask myself, Is this how you want to cope? Do you want to allow yourself to feel not great and beat yourself up?! No, let's do something different.

I was forced to treat myself like a toddler and replace the permanent marker with a toy. Negative thing out, fun thing in.

So things like, "let's go to the gym early today, get some endorphins," or I would bust out my notes app and journal. What is making me feel like I need to eat something? What was I feeling, and what did I want to feel later? What truth could I find, and if none, how could I combat the lie?

Lot's of FEELINGS.

So why share all of this with you?! Trust me, I have asked myself this over and over. I don't want to dump any sadness or start a pity party, but I want to be honest. I want to be a friend who is reliable and relatable. I needed to tell you where I have been these last few months so I can tell you where we are going!

I am a friend on the internet who is trying to encourage you, point you to Jesus, and remind you that you are not alone.

My mission here is to make sure you feel seen, heard, and loved no matter what you are facing, and if I hide, I can't see you nor can I share the junk we are walking through here.

+ So, if your kids are kicking your butt, I see you. Hold the line. This is the hardest but the best advice I have for you right now. Hold the line, meaning be strong. The rule you made is a good one, and let it stand!

+ If you are struggling with self-hate, I am sorry. I want to remind you that God made you just as He wants you, snacky habits and all. I adore you. A new workout plan won't fix everything, but some solid endorphins can help, don't be afraid to care for yourself.

+mIf you are caring for a loved one, driving to and from doctors, getting bad news, sleeping in a hospital bed, managing meds, and more. God Bless You. I hate that for you and your loved one. I hate that we must see and deal with sickness here. Do your best to take care of yourself too. Find something you can do to treat yourself, a book, podcast, pedicure, nap. I don't know, treat yourself!

+ If you are running through the list of negative things, stop and look for a positive. I'm not leaning into toxic positivity here so hear me out! This is something I had to do to show myself the truth that it was ALL bad. We have had some great moments amidst the sucky; honestly, the good outweighed the bad. The bad is just louder, right?!

Man, I care so deeply for you. I am fighting the desire to apologize for sharing the more complicated parts of my season, but I believe our words have power, and I know I am not the only one struggling. So I wanted to share what I have been doing to grow and climb out of the pit I found myself in.

Take those thoughts captive.

But don't stop there.

Dig them out and replace them.

I'll be back soon with a recap of content I have been loving, an update on what I am working on, and more!

Preparing Our Works for a Full Season

We talked about how to get our homes and our minds right for a busy season, and this week, we are going to talk about work!

Because this is a podcast for the working mom, I wanted to share what my work life looks like right now, how I am preparing for time off, resting and getting things done, and preparing for winter!

I am so glad that you are here I got so many kind notes about last week and how we are all making steps to prepare our homes for the busy seasons! I am so encouraged when you reach out and when you share the show with your friends. We are growing over here, and I am just really thankful!

This week we are talking about preparing our workplaces for busy seasons. I am not sure what kind of work you do, but I do know that when we have vacations and the holidays are coming, and work stays constant, I can feel really overwhelmed. It’s like everything is piling up around me, and I want to run away, which is not helpful. What I TRY to do is face it head-on. But even that feels intimate. Like I should just be able to handle it. And really, that means I am doing a lot in my own strength.

So let’s talk about preparing our work for a busy season!

The first question I want to ask you is this.

What can you control? And what is your actual job?!

When we look really honestly at these two things, we are able to take tasks off our list that 1) don’t really belong to us or 2) don’t really need to be doing.

I am not saying you should avoid your inbox because you can’t control it, but what if you only checked in 2x a day!

What if we did the things that we were supposed to do and nothing more. I don’t think that’s lazy or disrespectful I think it helps us accomplish what needs to be done. When we are looking ahead and knowing that either we are going to be OOO or that we are already doing too much, taking on MORE tasks is not going to benefit us at all. It’s actually going to hinder your productivity and possibly make you bitter.

We don’t want that.

We want to work hard for the lord and that means getting what we are supposed to be doing done!

So what can you control? You can control the things you add to your list. You can say a polite but firm no if you are overwhelmed and you can do your job to the best of your ability.

As an entrepreneur, I can shift my calendar around when it comes to busy seasons in work. For example, I know I have some deadlines next week, but I will be traveling, so I am going to make sure to have those all done on Saturday so my clients will have them in hand on Monday as if nothing happened. I don’t love working on Saturdays, but in order to play, I have to do a little extra work!

So what can you shift around? What can you say no to right now but yes to next month? Can you move the deadlines? Can you reschedule the meetings? How can you make your yeses work for you? I know that we answer to bosses or managers, but how can you communicate with them! Let them know what’s going on and ask for a bit of help. Even saying this makes me feel a little weak or timid, but as a boss or supervisor, I love supporting my team to take vacations or knowing that I can move things around to support them better, so why not ask? ASKING FOR HELP DOES NOT MAKE US WEAK!

And the Last question I would love to ask you and have you ponder is this.

What boundaries do you need to put into place when it comes to work-life balance?

Do you need to take email off your phone?

Do you need to leave your computer at work?

If you are a teacher do you need to stop grading papers at a certain time?

How can you find rest? And where does that boundary go?

I would love to tell you to x, y, and z, and life will be better. But we know that’s just not true. We know that working as though we work for the lord will result in favor and blessing (not in a prosperity gospel sort of way but in a way that’s just what the bible says sort of way!) We also know that we are called to work in this season of our lives, and working hard at work pays the bills. Is it always fabulous and fun? Nope.

Are we serving our families by killing it in the office yes? Are we teaching our kids what strong women look like but showing them healthy work-life boundaries? YUP.

So do what you need to do. Work hard, play hard and rest. As we figure this out, our lives will be much fuller.

Stop checking your work email on the weekends. Stop saying yes to every new task. Start managing what you can control. Start doing the things that matter to you and ask for help when you need it.

I’d love you to listen to an episode of its time for coffee with Dr. Sasha Shilcutt, and we talked about her book on boundaries! I think it would be a great follow-up to this chat!

I’ll have it linked in the description below! I am thankful that you are here today! I am glad we got the chance to sit down, and I hope that this conversation was helpful. I don’t know what work looks like day in and day out for you, but I do know that we don’t have to be a slave to our work. I know we can feel that way, but that’s not true. We are not our work. Our identity is not in WHAT WE DO but in WHO we trust and believe that is not any boss but in God alone!

Preparing Our Homes for a Full Season

Hello! Happy October!

This is a very full month for our family! With Homecomings, a quick rip, and a medium-length anniversary trip and preparing for fall, I feel like we are in the THICK of it.

I am not sure what IT is, but you get me, right?! This is where we start preparing to celebrate the holidays.

And before we get overwhelmed, let’s get ready! I have a friend who always says preparation time is never wasted time. So let’s take time now to prepare, shall we?!

Today I am going just to show you a couple of ways I am preparing for the fall and winter so you can take what works and try it out.

First, and this is something I have mentioned in other episodes! But I feel like I am asking myself this monthly.

I am asking myself, what matters in this season?!

October is going to be pretty full, so what matters to me, and what is going to matter to my family?

Those tend to be different things, right?

Here are a few things that matter…

Dinner, I want us to eat at home! I don’t want to spend a ton of money right now, making sure we are saving for Christmas and all the expenses that sneak up around this time, so I want to make sure we are managing our money well and here at the Tapley household, the best way o reign in our budget is to stop eating out! 

Gym time. In the past year, going to the gym, a shout-out to Einhorn CrossFit, has been so good for me! My body and my mental health. It is where I get to connect with friends, and since our whole family goes it’s really a fun way for us to connect at home. We compare notes, how we almost died or WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS TAYLOR THINKING when she did this workout!

Who am I spending time with? I can’t say yes to everything, or I am saying no to together things!

With a busy month looming, I don’t have the extra time to pour out like I normally do, so I want to make sure I am using that time well.

I want to spend time with my kids, and during the school year, when Zoe is only home on the weekends because of the dorm, I want to keep my weekends free.

I want to make sure I am able to see my best friend over coffee, I want to work alongside my assistant and just use my time wisely.

Unfortunately that means saying no to some events. And I HATE missing out. But just yesterday, I realized that I had booked myself, and I had to text a friend and let them know that I was going to miss a baby shower. I was just making myself super anxious and rushing around, and I knew I needed to let something go. I missed out, and I had that, but I got to spend a little extra time shopping for Zoe’s birthday gift instead of rushing around like a maniac and not being thoughtful.

So what matters to me? Dinner with my family, Gym time, and who I spend time with.

I think we have talked about this before, but I as I go into a busy month, I have to ask myself, what am I saying yes to?

What am I saying yes to this month…I can tell you this, it’s a lot less than other months!

I am saying yes to counseling. I started back yesterday and..will report back!

I am saying yes to stricter phone boundaries…not for my kids for me! If I am already feeling crazy busy. I don’t need the added “shoulds” from social media. Whether it’s reel trends I should be doing or parties I should be attending to memories I should be making. I am putting my phone down more!

I am saying yes to stretching more, taking vitamins, and taking my greens! I’ll link what I use in the description, but I am just trying to care for myself better! Am I entering my literal self-care season?! I think so. And I feel good about it! We only have one body, and I want to encourage us all to care for it! So I guess I am saying yes to caring for myself but in a natural, literal way!

The other things I am saying are yes, anything outside when it is under 80*. Sit outside and work YES, sit by the pool in the sun YES, go for a walk with the pups YUP! Fireside chat and wine, COUNT ME IN! As the weather turns this, exas chuck is outside as much as possible! I love summer, but I love not sweating too!

Things I am saying NO to! 

I struggle with this because it looks so different every day. I can tell you right now I am saying no to comparison. I am saying no to looking at people’s content that makes me feel sad or inferior. I am saying no to spending money! I just mentioned on IG that Jesse and I are on a bit of a spending freeze. This happens every October. As we check our budget from summer, school prep, and then prepare for Christmas, we realize we need to REIGN it and put a freeze on it! It is so helpful as I am an accidental amazoner. And the amazon fairy delivers just what I need! This obviously goes along with what I said earlier about eating out!

The last thing I do as we enter into a busy month that just so happens to be followed up by the holidays is print out a monthly pdf. And I put EVERYTHING on it. All the kid’s appts, dog appts, jesses schedule, and anything else that is going to take time/ planning. If I can see it all laid out, it makes sense in my brain, and I can tackle it a little easier.

Basically, I am just taking this time to reassess my boundaries. What’s good, what’s working, what’s not?!

Do I need to delete my email app from my phone?

Do I need to take IG off my phone during the weekend?

What daily habits can I start? Greens, vitamins, dog walks?!

What’s working? What’s not? 

I hope that this conversation isn’t coming across as a bummer; I don’t mind busy seasons; I just know what I need to do to prepare and plan. Being stressed, overwhelmed, and hurried is not what God has for us. 

Being sure in what we are doing, rooted in what He has called us to, and full of peace in our season is WAY better! 

So take it from me! If you are looking at a busy month, take a little bit of time and ask yourself these questions….

What is essential to my family and me right now?

What are you saying yes to?

What are you saying NO to?

What boundaries need to be adjusted?

What habits can I start to support me?

Prayers for this summer

Patience.

Fun.

An eye to see the little moments.

An eye to work on the fringes.

Opportunities to cut out and say yes.

To connect as a family, spouse, and kids.

This week as we officially launch into summer I wanted to take a moment and pray with you.

Summer doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Summer doesn’t have to be full of guilt or should. Let this be the summer we take back our should, say yes more, work hard when we are at work, and play with our kids.

I am working on this and as I figure this out this verse keeps coming to my head.

Whatever you do, do it with all your heart. If it’s time to work, do it. Work hard. If it’s time to clean house go for it, time to play with all your heart.

We don’t work for human bosses. We work for the Lord. Serve the Lord with gladness. 

That means in everything that we get to do. The things we GET to do hear me when I say that!

So let’s take a second and pray together for our hearts this summer.

Lord, thank you for this time, for this season. We are all in a different spot yet we all are together walking in community and seeking you and your face.

Parenting is tough, balance seems unreachable and when little hands are reaching for us and life can feel full with all that we get to do.

Lord help us to calm down. Help us to stop chasing the to-do list and lay aside the thoughts of things we SHOULD do. Guide us with our shoulds. 

Lead us in patience with our family this summer. Help us to lead with a deep breath and joy every day. Give us clear opportunities to connect with our spouses, and help us to be more than roommates and teammates but so connected in all that we do.

God, help us to see the little moments with so much joy and magic. Please give us a boost of energy when we feel like we have nothing left to give. Help us to serve and love well. And Really Lord helps us to love ourselves. Help us to not should ourselves or not compare our days to anyone else. Help us to start each day with you and end it with the assurance that we gave you, our kids, our work, and our husbands our best.

We love you God and we thank you for our family. We thank you for the opportunity to serve them and the people we work for. Thank you for this summer and let it be our best summer yet!

✨Well, we have gone VIRAL!🤩

I don't even know where to start this. This last week(s) has been wild and I am overwhelmed in the best way.

I can't tell you how many times I have said the phrase, "this is crazy!" or "what a wild ride," or "wow! This is just bananas!"

Let me explain. A few weeks ago, our family, along with our best friends (and their 5 kiddos and one set of grandparents... that's 14 people, just so you know), ventured to Disneyland! We had the best time and my best friend, Julianna's youngest daughter, "L" was just DYING to meet Anna and Elsa and my only real request for this trip was to be there when that happened.

I was in line at Starbucks with our oldest son Zeke because coffee is life, and Titus (my middle child) came BUSTING in and said, "L is walking with Anna!" I yelled my order to Zeke and ran out the door.

Anna and L were having the sweetest conversation that ended in a precious hug and the cutest picture. Zoe was next in line.

I need to pause here and tell you that Jesse and Zoe (my husband and youngest child) LOVE meeting characters. They are both game to stand in line and chat with Goofy, Minnie, Woody whomever to chat or dance or ask Tiana for her secret beignet recipe!

So they are READY to meet Queen Anna! Zoe steps up and signs, "hello." Anna noticed immediately that Zoe was deaf and looked to Jesse and I and asked, "can i sign?" My response was, "Of Course!" thinking she knew how to sign "Nice to meet you" or her sign name. Queen Anna started having a full ASL (american sign language) conversation with Zoe.

In these interactions, Jesse and I will take turns. One is interpreting the other operating the camera. In this situation, I just held my camera and sobbed. We were all floored.

Zoe looked back at me and said, "WOW!" They took a picture together, and that was that.

After a few moments, I could gather myself, and when Queen Anna was heading off to find Christoff, I ran up to her to thank her for this moment. I told her Zoe felt seen, that we were all so moved and beyond thankful for her ability to speak to our girl in her language. It was a thank you that felt like it was not enough, yet all I could give!

That afternoon I posted the picture Zoe and Queen Anna took and thought about sharing the video later on!

And then we went on to enjoy our Disneyland trip. We played, laughed, ate some yummy food, and made memories with some of our favorite people. It was one of my favorite trips!

A week after we returned, I posted Zoe's interaction with Queen Anna on my Instagram and then on my Tik Tok.

✨We have now gone viral!✨

When I shared the video on tik tok, I had 28 followers, and now I have like 3,800. On TT, the video has been seen over 2.1 million times; on IG, it is at 7.6 million.

💛YALL WHAT IN THE ACTUAL WORLD!!!🤩

This is where I say yet again. THIS IS BANANAS!! SO SO CRAZY and SO SO FUN!

It has been a delightful viral experience, with only a few mean comments, but nothing can kill my joy here!

I only tell you the whole story because we are friends, and I feel it needs to be told.

What if, for a second today, we saw someone and went out of our way to love on them? To smile or buy their coffee. What if a kind word about their shoes was just what they needed? Or that soft, knowing smile to a stressed-out mom at a target made her feel seen.

Take some time today to slow down.

SEE THOSE AROUND YOU!

It is life-changing for us and others.

I have SO much more to tell you. Regarding this viral video, we are in talks with GMA, ABC, and CBS News. I have talked with the Disney Parks social media team and allowed them to share our video. Am I waiting and hoping for free park tickets...YESSSS, but I won't hold my breath!

5 Tips to get your kids prepared for summer

Hey! Welcome back to moms at work! As I sit here and record today this is my last full week of no kids at home. So they are all at school. And next week summer will officially be behind in the Tapley household. Please give me some grace and extra tissues because this is also the end of an era.

We will no longer have an elementary school student. It feels so weird to think about. But our big boys Zeke and Titus will both be in high school and Zoe will start her first year of middle school. And now saying that I realize I need MORE than extra tissues but also your thoughts and prayers!

Today I wanted to chat with you about summer prep. How can we as busy, working moms prep our kids for summer, and then next week I am going to get you 3-5 tips on prepping yourself, spoiler alert it has nothing to do with getting “swim suit” ready!

So how can we prep our kids?!

Lean into a schedule

Not in a DO THIS OR FAIL ting but set up daily rhythms. We are a slow-moving family in the mornings so leaning into that I am going to tell my kids to do a devotional first thing. No screens or devices until they have spent some time with Jesus.

I am going to have them, so do a daily chore and then they can have screens for a while.

The daily things I want them doing are this…and I really had to think about this, like what would make me not crazy, what would help them feel pulled together, and what can I say up for them so they don’t ask me questions all-day

Time with Jesus, just normal hygiene like teeth and showers, a workout or walking the dogs, 20 min daily reading, 

But here is the thing when I start looking at these types of schedules I tend to go overboard. And that’s not the goal here.

I just want to give my kids guidelines. I want them to see what is expected so they can roll with it in that aspect.

So how will we do this? I will set up a schedule and post it to the fridge.

It will be super basic and probably not super time constrictive since they each have their own schedules this summer. With work, summer camps, and lives I just want to support their time and in turn, teach them to support mine.

Prep the kitchen

We already have a 1 snack rule. Meaning if there are chips in the pantry they get one (single size) bag of chips a day. Now my middle kiddo has found the workaround that he knows he can have one of every snack we have in the house. I don’t love it but I respect the hustle!

The thing I am going to prep this summer is having better options. From portioned-out nuts to rice cakes (my kids actually love these) to loads of fruit chopped and ready I just want them to be able to grab a snack. I don’t want them to ask me questions. My goal is to take the asking or questioning out.

Same with lunches. I want them to be able to make their lunch without my help or needing me so that means I will just be prepping lunch food on Sundays. I am going to bring Zoe in on this with me. She is the one kid that will be home more this summer so I want to give her ownership in this way.

Tell them when its time for play and time for work

You would think they would know but hey, they are kids. So if your kids are little maybe use a red block or some sort of signal that shows them. Mom is working. My kids know if my office door is shut, I am deep in work or recording and they should enter at their own risk

I know with little you can close yourself off but maybe visuals will help them and they can stop, and reassess.

Camps, VBS, Playdates

We are big camp people! I think camps are a great way to have your kids entertained and busy in the summer. I know that it can get spendy but I would look up different VBS around town, and local park camps, I would even see if there are teens in your neighborhood that are looking to make some money and encourage them to start a camp or babysit club.

Getting the kids worn out and around others is KEY! And if camps aren’t a great option then maybe setting up playdates where you and a friend trade off days!

Ask for help

Maybe it’s a neighbor, a friend, or a young teen down the road, Ask for help. Have the kids do some chores, ask your husband t do dinner 1-2 nights a week, and maybe make Wednesday leftover nights and Friday Pizza night. Take stuff off your plate by lightening your load some!

One thing I just did to prep my brain for our summer is I printed out a blank calendar and I filled it in with everything we have going on, Kids camps, schedules, work plans, jesses schedules trips, and deadlines. ALL OF IT. For some people, I get how it could be WILDLY overwhelming. But for me, I needed to see it all so I knew when I needed to ask for help.

The things I will need to ask for help with are, Zoe being entertained some, a ride to and from work for the boys, the to and from the shuffle of the gym, and morning running practice for the boys, and honestly, a lot of this get solved late this summer when our oldest starts driving but guys I am not ready but I am….its’s confusing, again I need those thoughts and prayers

What I was saying is… I know that these are things I will need help with. I will have to ask if Jesse is around he will definitely pick up that slack, but if he’s not, I will ask my mother-in-law or my friends around me to help. I am so thankful for those around me that helped me and I want to remind you that if you can offer help DO SO!! Last summer i took Zeke and his buddy to practice every day and his friends mom brought them home so i could start working! It was a greattrade off!

Make those deals!

Ok lets recap!

Lean into a rhythms not scheules

Set up a light schedule for your kids, dont plan every minute because you will fail andwhen that happens you will want to quit everything! Thats not what we want! We want to eliminate the questions, to foster boredom and to help our kids play!

Prep the kitchen!

Give your kids ready to grab snacks that they can grab and go. Again no questions just snack! You know they are hungerier than ever in the summer!! So just have the stuff prepped and ready for them, maybe even have a specifcic spot in the fridge that is their yes food. They can just grab it straight from their no asking! 1 per day. Imagine how big they might feel!!

Give them a visual sign for when you are working

If you cant be interrupted show them what to do or give them a game plan. Use a block, sign or shut door! Help them help you! If you work from an office, i used to call my mom ALL the time and she would get so mad! Now i am SHOCKED that she was never fired for that! But maybe give them a specific check in time!

Camps, vbs, playdates

What can you sign your kids up for?! They’ll love it and you will too!!

How can you play tradies with your friends?

Be prepared to ask for help!

From your kids, husband, parents, neighbors! Just ask! Its ok! Remember we cannot do it all! We can manage our homes really well, but we cannot do all the things!

Ok last but not least i want to encourage you to have some fun.

Leave the office a little early, dont break any rules but do what you can! Go to the park, or to the splash pad. We dont want to just survive the summer with our kids but we want to make some memories!

Buy a polaroid camera! Leave your phone in your purse so you arent tempted to scroll.

Have ice cream for dinner and dinner for dessert! Be wild! 

Have fun! Ok next week i will be right here with you giving YOU tips on getting YOU ready for summer!

I would love to hear more from you! you can email me at itstimeforcoffeepodcast@gmail.com. Click here if you want to join the email community!

Story Time!

a text

no one wants to receive!

I was recently in Kentucky speaking at a ladies' retreat!

I got off the stage and sat down next to my mom and my watch buzzed with a notification.

I quickly glanced down and saw a text from Jesse that said, "So, my truck was stolen."

Jesse is a joker and super sarcastic, but saying his truck was gone is not something I would think he would joke about, but I responded with, "are you kidding me?"

I face-timed with him and the kids an hour before when they were on their way to this Chinese Buffett. Me being out of town was the perfect reason or excuse for Dad to treat them to it. I don't love buffets, and it's like 20 minutes away from us, so I always nix it when it's brought up.

So being the fun dad, Jesse is, he treats them to all-you-can-eat Chinese food, and the kids are in heaven.

When they finish up and walk out into the small parking lot, they don't see Jesse's big, lifted with giant tires, F250. I mean, it would be hard to misplace, but Jesse thinks, Maybe I parked it on the other side and forgot. The kids were razzing him, saying, oh no! It got stolen. They all chuckled but quickly realized that is exactly what happened. 😵‍💫

Jesse calls the police, tells the restaurant what happened, and immediately opens his ford app. (fun fact; if you have a Ford 2019 or newer, you can download the ford app, and it has a lot of great features!)

He was able to watch where the truck was going, and the police were tracking it. But getting a truck back once stolen is pretty slim. We live right off of I35, and these things happen a ton.

So our best friend, Matt, came to the rescue, picked Jesse and the kids up, and took them home.

Eventually, what felt like a whole day. Jesse's truck stopped moving, and the police could track it down. It was very recognizable because Jesse had gone to get Zeke jeep new (to us) tires the day before. SO yeah, the five tires Jesse had just bought were stolen in the back of the truck. HA! 😂

But because of that, the police were able to recognize it.

The police got it, called Jesse, fingerprinted it, and returned it to the rightful owner!

I mean, seriously. How weird. It was out of our possession for two almost three hours. Jesse got it back and talked with insurance and bad-a-bing. It's in the shop getting fixed.

We have since heard of many trucks like Jesse's being stolen in our area. Trucks are being taken down to the border, stripped, wrecked, and I was reading an article about these vehicles being used for human and drug trafficking—what a mess.

I am so impressed

with how calmly Jesse held it together and led our kids!

To wrap this story up, here is what we are doing to protect our vehicles and learn from this experience.

+ We don't leave our keys in the car anymore. Having that push-button start is just so easy, right?! Before, I would leave my key in the vehicle and use the pin pad to unlock it. I tend to misplace my key, so this was just handy. Well, not anymore.

+ We are also not leaving bags, purses, computers, or anything else valuable or seemingly valuable in the car.

+ We are locking the cars again seems obvious, but, ya know. And we are getting an extensive alarm system for the truck! If you are interested, I can let you know which one Jesse gets when he picks it out!

+ We are not living in fear. We are thankful we have insurance, and we know that we have it for a reason. No one loves insurance until you need it.

The crazy thing is, I have a friend who lives in San Antonio and their truck was stolen this week! They did not get it back, and I am just gutted for them. I can't believe these things happen.

When the truck was gone, and I was in a different state and of NO HELP to my husband or kids, I texted my boys and asked how their dad was.

This was their response. I am SO proud of how Jesse led them in this wild state.

Meanwhile, I sat outside this beautiful lodge and cried out to the Lord. I was so stressed out and mad that this would even happen. And I heard the verse, Cast your cares on the Lord. He cares for you. 1 Peter 3:7

A verse that I was praying over our month. So I sat there and took my feelings and cares and tossed them to the Lord. I closed my eyes and thought, okay, what am I worried about?

I would think about it and toss it.

Think it and toss it. I prayed that verse.

"God, I believe that you care for me, for my family, and about something as silly as our truck. It's okay if it's gone forever. You will make away. I trust you. And I trust that you care."

This was an excellent opportunity for me to practice trusting Him. I am not saying it is why the truck came back. But I know that my heart was less troubled after I surrendered.

So I want to encourage you today. If you are having a rough day, week or month. I want to encourage you to sit back and think, What is causing me to worry, stress or pain?

Take time to think these things out, and if you need to write it out, then toss it to the Lord. He cares for you!

3 Ways to get back on the same page with your partner

Communicate 

-talk it out

-make sure each of you are aware of the others’ needs/ wants/ point of view

Compromise

-you are not out for each others’ mutual destruction. 

-Giving in to some part of the discussion is not “losing”. 

-Your spouse your best interests at heart. 

Commit

-if you have compromised, stick with it! Don’t try to keep bargaining or taking what you agreed to leave

-let your yes be yes and your no be no

-commit to loving and serving your spouse. 

Be thankful for this process. 

Call out where this works, affirm your spouse in the small wins, where you felt loved or served, or where they compromised even when they really didn’t want to. Love them through it, feel loved by them through it. 

If these don’t work, or continually cause division, 

Counseling

-seek counseling early and often, not just when things are dire. 

-counseling is not a sign of weakness, it is proof that you want a strong, lasting, happy relationship (with your spouse and yourself!!)

Content I have been LOVING

Grab you headphones

2 of my very favorite people were on a show that I produce and love. Go listen to the FAITH+FITNESS podcast by FAITH RXD and listen to 2 different shows.

Save to you r watch list!

A few shows I watched this month….

+ I watched and really liked Season 2 of Bridgeton. And I honestly think it was better than season 1. It was a little steamy but again not like s1.

+ the Abercombie & Fitch documentary on Netflix called White Hot was SUPER interesting!

+On Netflix I DEVOURED the Ultimatum. I am not proud that I watched this and liked it as much as I did but…I am if nothing but honest with you… so check it out if you need to turn your brain off!

Let’s Read!

+ I listened to The Duke And I (The first of the Bridgeton books). I t was good and I just wanted more of them after watching the show! I will definitely be listening to the next one!

+ It Happened One Summer. This book was STEAMY. I was not expecting that! It was a cute read, but heres a fair warning. Lots of sexy time! It has a sequel but I am not sure I need to read it.

+The People We Keep this is our book club book this month. I am TERRIBLY behind. SO far, good thoughts!

Ok, well that's really all I have for you today!

I just wanted to pop into your inbox and give you a little taste of what I have been up to when I rest! I hope some of these things help you rest this weekend!

LET ME KNOW…hit that reply and give me your recommendations!

I will be back next week with something…maybe inspiring…OH NO, I know!!

I will tell you how Jess's truck got stolen!!

FOR REAL!

Ok, meet you back here next week!

Creating a Family Culture on Purpose with Kimberly Amici

Welcome to the Moms At Work! Grab your headphones and a cup of coffee, or whatever you choose to fill your cup with, and join your host Jeanette Tapley as we break free from the shame of having to plan it all!

I am excited to introduce you to my friend Kimberly Amici. Kimberly is an entrepreneur, designer, and podcast producer. She is the founder of Build Your Best Family which helps people calm the chaos so they can parent with purpose through podcasts, courses, and personal coaching. 

Today Kimberly is breaking down Four Workplace Habits That Every Family Should Adopt!

These tips are incredible!

• Know your values 

  • How do you want to be known and how does your family make people feel?

• Regular meetings

  • Family meetings, setting goals, make sure you are all on the same page.

  •  KNOW THE VISION! Help your kids know the vision and direction for your family.

• Family reviews give and receive feedback

  • Family retreat! HOW FUN!!

• Cultivate Team Work

  • Chores, togetherness.

  • How can we work together!?

Which of these tips do you want to start first?!

For more from today’s conversation check out Kimberly’s article here. & check out the Build Your Best Family Podcast here

Want to listen to Moms at Work? Click here.
Email me at itstimeforcoffeepodcast@gmail.com. Click here if you want to join the email community!

Four things I can't live without as a working mom

Hi! Welcome to the moms at work podcast where we are giving life-giving tips, tricks, and conversations for our friends who are working!

Today I wanted to give you 3 things I cannot live without as a working mom!

And then I am going to share a few things that my IG friends shared that THEY can’t live without.

Speaking of social media, are we friends on the gram! It’s my favorite place to hang out on the internet! You can find me on IG Jeanettetapley or on Facebook at @thejeanettetapley. Both are SUPER fun places for us to connect on a deeper level! So I cannot wait to see you there! If you are on Tiktok let me know? I want to be there but I don’t know how to be there.

Ok, now four things that I cannot live without..these four things make my life as a working mom work. Okay, let’s get to work!

The first one that kind of compounded with other ones, it’s kind of silly….

Number 1

I cannot live or work without coffee…hahaha now I’m kind of joking but I do love sipping coffee as I work. ESPECIALLY in that first hour or so of work. When you’re opening up your emails and getting stuff done. It just sets the pace for my workday. If my cup is almost empty or cold when I go to sit down I feel the need to reheat it or fill it up. I just want to start the day with a fresh cup! Am I alone in this?

The other no-brainer thing I cannot live without is my computer or my phone. Because of what I do I can do MOST things from my phone but if I didn’t have my computer…dead. There’s no way to work! But all of those are just duh things! No brainers!

Number 2

The other thing I cannot live without as a working mom is Shipt! This is the grocery delivery service where you can place your order online, or via their app, and then these blessed angels go to the store and grab all the things I have ordered on my list. This has been a LIFESAVER. SO let me say a few things, I am not super picky about the veggies we get, I just need them, and if I need a specific thing or like bananas I can put a note on the product and say we like them green or whatever. But my point is, I am giving up some control in this, if I cared a ton about what I wanted my bell peppers to look like this might not be the best service. If you just need the food and want some help, look into this service or a grocery pick-up service. I know Walmart does curbside and I think they do some delivery too I’m not sure. But my routine or rhythm is this.

On Saturday I go through our fridge and clean and sort it out and then I plan for the week What are we eating? What do we need? And then I order everything on the app to be delivered Sunday afternoon. Then if there is anything I am going to prep for the week I do it Sunday after church and have it ready for the week.

If I get everything in on Sunday then our week is ready, we have meals, and snacks and we are good to go. And even better than that, I didn’t have to go to the grocery store and I probably saved money because the last time I went into the grocery shop I bought 5 boxes of Halloween cereals because those darn end caps got me!

Number 3

If you were to see me now, which is why we should be friends on IG because I am going to share this moment on my stories, you will see a PLETHORA of sticky notes, I was going to count them but then I got shy! SO sticky notes and paper calendars. If you looked in my house you would see my notebook that has my daily to-do list on it, you’d see my weekly planner that has the whole week laid out I have my content planner which is just a smaller/skinnier planner for the content I am putting out my yearly planner which is by my friend Jess Massey at Hustle Sanely and then 2 sticky note pads…don’t forget the coffee and water but ya know right now I am just confessing my need for paper products in which I need to use for all the lists I have! It’s silly but true. SO many lists and so many ways to write them down on!

Number 4

The last thing I cannot survive without!! Is my instant pot. I know some people love their crockpot meals and that’s all well and good. I don’t and here’s why…I FORGET! I can’t remember putting the meal together in the morning! I know you are thinking… well “you work from home Jeanette, why don’t you just put it together whenever you think of it”. Well, here’s the truth. If I have played my week correctly (as I mentioned earlier, groceries are delivered and whatever needs prepping is prepped ) then I don’t have a ton I need to do or plan ahead of time, HOWEVER, I do have the occasional meat in the freezer that I forget to thaw and I don’t think about dinner until ya know…dinner time! Thankfully past Jeanette knows future Jeanette really well and helped a sister out! SO my instant pot is my go-to! I use it probably 4-5 times a week! WE use it for rice, chicken, soup, as a way to pre-cook chicken for meals. My favorite thing we cook in it is hard-boiled eggs!! I mean it’s just my go-to. And I love it and I can live without it! So I need to know are you a team crockpot or instant pot?

And now it’s time to hear from you! What can you not live without! I asked this on my Instagram stories, I mean really are we friends there yet?! And this is what you guys told me….

HEB PICK UP, INSTANT CART, or WALMART ORDERING ONLINE so we can all agree that going into the actual grocery store is the worst right?!

My friend Cassie said she keeps frozen pizzas in the freezer because there’s always that one night you don’t want to cook or know what to make! And to that, I say amen!

A set bedtime! We all need this for ourselves and our kids! It gives us a countdown clock after a hard day and some assurance that we will get a little quiet or unwind time.

Now that we have bigger kids that bedtime is getting later and later and Jesse and I are getting annoyed because our time is getting slimmer and slimmer! I have to remind myself and him that we are the adults here! We can make these calls. BUT here’s the thing, the bigger they get the most things you watch or do together which makes bedtime later and later! It’s a vicious cycle!

Ready meals that grocery stores have prepped for you. HEB does it here ( I live in Texas and HEB is our like Texas grocery store.) I have seen target do this too though it’s like a meal in a bag and you just put it all together! They are LIFE savers! A little spendy but cheaper than Chickfila!

Another thing with the ready meals or meal prepping is prepped breakfasts! This was a lifesaver when my kids were little!! And we would also pack lunches at night before bed to make the morning a little easier. We are not a household of morning people! Anything we can do to make the mornings faster and more quiet we will all do!

One friend said her mom! Her mom helps with the kids because she is a single mom! And to this I want to cheer for her, she has asked for help., she knows where it comes from and that is the best! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!! ASK FOR HELP!!!

Did you know there’s a service that will do your laundry?! There are just some amazing services out there that support us in our jobs and I love it! 

And because you are my people you all said, coffee and Jesus. Yes and amen!

I would love to hear more from you! you can email me at itstimeforcoffeepodcast@gmail.com. Click here if you want to join the email community!

The Spring Break Spiral

Hi friends welcome back or to Moms at work a podcast/blog for moms who work! You may be asking yourself, but what KIND of work do I need to do to be here Jeanette?! I am glad you asked, and I am glad you are here. Let’s clarify working moms, do you have a job that you do or go to everyday? Then YAY! You belong here. Do you have a job that you do from your house?! Then YAY you belong here. Are you working on a side hustle,  are you home schooling your kids, or are you an entrepreneur who works from her kitchen table?! Then YAY you belong here!

If you are a mom, stepmom, bonus mom, mom who has adopted, single mom, or even an almost mom then your in the right place, here we are breaking down stigmas, and walls that tend to keep us trapped in the chaos of guilt and shame for working or even, gasp…liking our jobs!

This is a place for us to bounce ideas off of one another, learn and grow together. Sometimes we will talk about the bible, we have learned about the proverbs 31 woman and what we can learn from her and what we needed to cast off. Sometimes we will be joined by a friend of mine who can teach us something!

Today I am going to be giving you tips and tricks on how to not feel guilty when your kids are home from school like spring break, any crazy holiday they get off, summer, fall break and Christmas break. Come on, lets’ get to work!

I don’t know about you but anytime my kids have time off of school I feel the need to either, entertain them like I am a cruise ship director, or go on a trip or I just give up because its too much pressure and they live on screens for the week or day.

Then the guilt and shame sink in. Here’s a peek into my brain and what i have been calling the SPRING BREAK SPIRAL

“OK- kids are off for the week, let me check my calendar and see what is on my calendar that I HAVE to do. Should we go on a trip? Maybe go camping? I can work from the camper, maybe a little beach trip. No we don’t need to do that, let’s save that for summer. What about just a day trip? We could go for the day it would be fun and fast and memorable. No I don’t really have a full day where we could swing that and those gas prices. Ok. Well lets talk to friends and see about hanging out with people. But we can do that last minute. Ah I want them to have fun, but I don’t have time to entertain them. They are big and they will think a day to screens is fine, they won’t complain. But what if all they remember from their spring break is me working and them being bored. I will hate that for them. Should we go on a trip? What is something fun we can cook?”

This is my brain spiraling. There is no trip planned. There will be boredom. There will be last minute hang outs with friends and there is a TON of work I need to do. All of this is ok!

I just want to start by give us all a little freedom here. It is good for our kids to see us working. My mom worked when I was little. She had a 9-5 office job…can we cue up dolly! And We spent a lot of time at home alone. I didn’t hate. It. I saw her leave in the morning and i saw her come back. I knew she worked hard for our family and thats that! It’s as easy as that and I don’t remember seeing her feel guilty about it.

Nowadays,. How old do I sound, some of us have the luxury of working form home. Now when the kids are around there is a layer of difficulty but its not all bad! Our kids can literally see us working. And sometimes I try to invite them in. My job is weird so I will let my boys sit with me while i edit and I teach them what I do. They have popped into many a zoom call and then there was a day I yelled, NOT ON MUTE WITHOUT EVEN THINKING! “Don’t come over here, you don’t have pants on and I’m on a zoom call!” I was later told that was “SO NOT COOL!”

My point is this. My kids know I work. I can’t and don’t try to hide it from them, neither should you. I also show them what my paychecks pay for! Thats kinda fun! They can see the benefit of mom. It’s not just doing this for my own gain but for theirs too. 

So, it’s good for them to see us doing this. It’s also really fun to dream with your kids. To be honest. I didn’t know I was allowed to dream as a mom. I thought whatever I did or didn’t do was just that.. I would live in this family with a stable job, reliable schedule and badda bing batta boom that was it! It wasn’t until like 6 years ago that I realized I could dream of something different and chase it down. I have included my kids in each stage. It’s actually really rewarding to share this with them.

So a quick reminder my kids are 15, 13 and 11. But I have been doing this job for 4 years. So yes its fun to include them now while they are asking better questions and looking at their own career paths. I was actively showing them my job when they were little. I was showing them what I was dreaming of when they were little. I wanted them to know and to understand why I was pulling back sometimes! Or why there was times I was sitting in my office alone.

Now back to the spiraling. What can we do when we cant fully entertain our people?

How can we make memories without going full out on a trip, or we only have a few stolen hours a day!

Here are some tips or ideas!

Make a fun lunch, and eat at the park. Pack it up in a basket and go play! Get outside! And DO YOUR BEST TO UNPLUG FROM WORK. I know it’s hard. I know it seems impossible but the most gut wrenching thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I was at the gym with my middle kiddo and my phone was blowing up with work stuff. IT COULD WAIT. I am not the president of the united states and pushing these texts and emails off an hour was going to be ok but I couldn’t. I grabbed my phone and instead of being fulling engaged in the warm up I was texting back and my sweet Titus said, “Mom you are being rude to our coach. You need to put your phone away. Whatever it is can wait!”

OUCH MAN! He was so right. He was respectful to me and to our coach. It was something I would have said to him so I want to encourage you. Pull back for an hour. PLAY get outside and have a fun with your kids! They will see you pulling back for them and may pull back for you in the future.

Heres a good question, Can you manipulate your schedule at all? I can, so I am making a mess of my Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in order to have Thursday all the way off. I want to play I want to swim and i want to rest with my people. So thats something i am doing. Is it currently 7:30 Monday night as I record this…YES I TOLD YOU MY WEEK IS A MESS!! But here I am pulling together so I can have a day with my family.

What events can you sign them up for? Use these VBS or church camps to let them go have fun, and allow you to HUSTLE and get things done! Again it’s 7:30 and my kids are at at church sports camp! The little one is playing, the middle one is serving and the oldest is bigger so he’s out with his buddies! DO NOT LET shame or guilt creep in about your kids going out to activities like this. Vet the events and the leaders and then let them play. I am a big fan of having other people speak into our kids lives.

Movie night! Popcorn, candy, blankets and its a party! This is one of our favorite things to do. Phones get put away and we get to chill together! Add in a pizza and you have a happy Tapley family.

Play a new game. Try a new food for dinner or a new restaurant or have your kids cook dinner! All really fun ways to connect with your crew that doesn’t take a ton of time!

Ok last thing…

I have been struggling with connecting with my daughter. Y’all hormones are a beast and I just have to be honest and tell you I have been struggling. I was talking to my best friend and she gave me some GREAT advice. She told me to make a drink, it can be whatever you want, margarita, Topo Chico and lime, Italian soda whatever, your choice and have Zoe make something too. My kids love making Italian sodas and go for a walk. Take the drinks and cruise the neighborhood. Just BE together.

This has been hard to even squeeze in but let me tell you. It’s sweet. It’s working! We both look forward to it and I think it gives her a little bit of a grown up vibe. We are just walking and chatting. 

So take some advice from my wise bestie and give this a shot!

Whatever you do or don’t do. Don’t let shame creep in. You are a good mom. You are doing a good job. If you don’t believe me, take a look at those kids. They are thriving!

And you might be scoffing at me. Like how do you know Jeanette you don’t even know my kids. 

I know this because you are here, you are listening and learning and that shows you care.

So put away that cruise director hat and go grab some sparkling water and some fancy syrup (you can get this at TJ MAXX, HomeGoods or even Walmart!) ! Here is my favorite Italian soda recipe! go make some!

Y’all its the little things! Don’t stress. Be present when you can and give some extra snuggles, shoot let them stay up 10 extra minutes! These are the things that make for sweet memories!

Email me at itstimeforcoffeepodcast@gmail.com. Click here if you want to join the email community!